Ways We Save Money: Washing the Dishes

Originally Posted on April 24, 2018 in Free, Fun, Family

Everyone hates washing dishes.  Especially other people’s dishes.  Marriages end over dirty dishes.  However, a sink full of dirty dishes can really torpedo your efforts to save money.  How?

It’s no secret that cooking at home saves money.  I enjoy cooking, and both Min and I have improved as cooks over the years.  However, coming home after a difficult day to a sink of dishes that need to be washed before dinner can be started was killing my meal planning efforts.  Part of it was my failure to eat an afternoon snack, leaving me ravenous at 4:30 p.m. when I got home.  But even when I solved that problem, doing dishes and then cooking when my children are starved for Mommy time after I’ve been away from them all day was killing my best laid plans.  I’d let all the wonderful vegetables I’d bought to make chili or soup rot in the fridge and heat up another frozen pizza instead.  There was a period we were so stressed about dirty dishes that I would just pick up fast food on the way home.

Keeping the sink relatively free of dirty dishes and the dishwasher cleared of already clean dishes makes cooking and meal planning easier and more fun.  I make more healthy food, use up more of the food I buy, and is more sanitary and environmentally friendly.  However, this was not an easy routine to master.

Failed “Solutions”

• Ignoring the problem. Obviously this is less a strategy than a desperate method of coping by me that sometimes resulted in purchasing more utensils or cookware… Stupid!
• Disposable products. Paper plates, plastic utensils, aluminum lining for baking trays, and water bottles bought in bulk did help prevent dining out and fast food runs when we were really awful.  However, cookware was still dirty and buried under a mound of things that needed to be rinsed (scraped because they’d been left to sit) and put in the dishwasher.  Which meant we “cooked” more convenience foods.
• Blaming the other person. You have all this time being home all day.  Just do it before you leave for work in the morning.  Wash any dishes you use right after you use them and load them in the washer.  Except don’t load them in the washer like that.  I thought you already ran the washer.  I couldn’t load the dishes because you never unloaded the washer.  And on and on…  We aren’t proud of this.

What did work?

I changed my attitude.

I have learned that the only person’s behavior you can really change is your own (though certainly you can influence the behavior of others, you cannot change them).  I changed my approach to dishes.   I decided to just step up and take responsibility for the dishes in the sink.  And running the dishwasher.  And putting the dishes away.  Whenever I had time.  No matter who created the mess.  Because this was my family and the dishes were my responsibility, even if that responsibility was shared.

People say marriage is 50-50.  That’s an error.  Successful marriage is 100-100, each person all-in, giving everything they have.

This mental adjustment began when H was six months old and Min broke his leg.  It shook me out of the petty you-did-this, I-did-that score keeping of housework.  It took a few weeks for the dish-washing habit to become routine and I’m not as vigilant as my mother who won’t go to bed with a dirty dish in the sink, but in the end, it took less time to clean even a full sink of dishes than I thought it did.  I even timed myself a few times to ensure myself it only takes a few minutes to clean up.

I’m not the only one in the house that does dishes (Min does more of the cooking during the day, so he does most of the cleaning then, too), but I still take the responsibility in my head seriously.  Letting go of my entitled attitude has changed how I view this chore and has made it possible for success with planning and cooking meals.  Which saves a lot of money!

Attitude of Gratitude: My Sister in Law

 Originally Posted on April 16, 2018 in Free Fun Family

Living as an international family has some significant challenges.  The biggest challenge is that you are physically separated from very important parts of your family.  This time last year, we visited Korea for Spring Break and will visit even longer this summer.  When we visit, we stay with family.

Min has one younger brother who lives in Korea.  The brother is married to a woman who is not only an awesome wife and teacher, but a woman I consider a friend.  In-Shil is very popular with our children because she has a great sense of humor.  She likes to develop her hobbies–drawing, yoga, Crossfit (yes, they have that in Korea), English, technology, etc.–and I’m always impressed by how wonderfully welcoming and inviting she is when we visit her in her home.  She is frugal and a fine cook, but still enjoys herself and loves kids.  I think you can see why we get along so well!

Her English is a bit better than my Korean, so we often have conversations where she will speak in elementary Korean and I will respond in elementary English and we understand each other very well.  Our husbands think this is weird, but we like it.

I often wish we lived in the same city (or even the same country), because I would love to be closer with her.  I am very grateful for her patience, love, and support with my brother-in-law and mother-in-law (who lives near them), and with my husband, who doesn’t always realize how awesome she is (he does, I just think he should think she’s EVEN MORE AWESOME, because she is).   Our Korean family has had some significant challenges recently, and she has been the rock through the worst of it (and continues to be).

Some people have challenging relationships with their in-laws, but our family is blessed with a SUPERSTAR jakkun ohmma (aunt).  I cannot wait to visit her this summer!

Accepting My Imperfect Self

Originally Posted on April 13, 2018 to Free, Fun, Family

I am not good about keeping my car clean, but I’m working on it consciously.  This morning, after I pulled into the parking garage at work, I decided to get rid of some trash I’d allowed to accumulate in my car and finally bring the second half of the Costco box of Keurig coffees I’d bought to use in the office inside so I can give the cardboard to J for his projects.  I gathered up some gross, discarded tissues from the cold I’ve been fighting all week and the empty water bottle, packed the Keurigs into my lunch bag, and took the trash to the trashcan.  When I went back to get my purse (and phone and work ID and wallet…) I had locked my keys in my car.

Don't want to pass along my own insecurities to my children!

This is not the first time I’ve done this.  However, in the past, when I’ve made such a stupid mistake, especially one I will have to enlist the help of others to correct, I’ve beaten myself up more (a lot more) than just the “Well, that’s annoying,” response I had this morning.  I would be embarrassed that my car was so trashy, I’d had to work at cleaning it before going to work, that I didn’t think to grab my keys or purse before shutting the door, and especially that I had also locked the spare keys in the car (they fell under the seat) because I’d already locked my keys in the car earlier this week and hadn’t bothered to return the spare keys to the place we keep them for this kind of Diana-mistake.  However, I know that it’s important to forgive myself.

I’m still a touch embarrassed (even typing this all out and posting it has me a bit flushed), but I took care of it (thank you, Grandma, for your compulsive AAA-getting for your children), and in the grand scheme of the world, it’s not a big deal.  It was even a beautiful day outside, and I squeezed in extra exercise running back and forth a few times between my office and the parking garage.  I practiced deep breathing and focused on the positive as I returned to work.

I’ve discovered a weird paradox about accomplishing goals and improving habits to improve my life: Self acceptance is critical to achieving self improvement goals.

With self-improvement, you are attempting to improve yourself because there is something about yourself you want to change.  However, I’ve learned the hard way that until you accept yourself as you are now, the cycle of beating yourself up will prevent any real change.

I did NOT beat myself up about being stupid for locking my keys in my car…  so then I did not justify buying myself an unhealthy lunch out to cope with my stress… so then I did not justify changing my afternoon plans to walk outside and write to join friends at happy hour because I’d had a stressful day… etc. etc.

I am still working on this.  Some days I backslide, but it doesn’t help to beat myself up about a poor spending (or eating) choice.  I take a deep breath, focus on the positive, accept my flaws, and work on making better choices in the future.

 

Family Fun Tip: Hiking!

 Originally Posted on April 10, 2018 in Free, Fun, Family

Last weekend, we took our first family hike of 2018.  It was later for us to do this than usual, but we’ve taken to doing more family walks around the neighborhood and city parks this year, so I don’t mind.  However, hiking is always one of our favorite forms of entertainment.

My first date with Min was a hike almost exactly 10 years ago (this May).  We climbed a mountain, talked about spiritual beliefs vs. religion, put our bare feet in a mountain stream, stopped to smell the flowers, ate and napped at a mountainside family restaurant, and fell in love (well maybe not on the first date…).  Hiking has been a routine part of our relationship ever since.  We both love the woods and climbing mountains.

When we became parents, we found it challenging to hike as often as we had before.  When the kids were very little, we could strap them in baby carriers and haul them with us, but there is a challenging time between 18 months and 3-4 years old where a kid is a bit large to carry everywhere (and can reasonably walk on their own), but cannot sustain lengthy hikes with much elevation.

Cunningham Falls is one of our favorite local hikes.

Eventually, we found which trails were well-suited to younger hikers (terrain with minimal elevation changes in the 0.75-2.5 mile range), and built up a list of reliable trails in our area.  Most national, state, and local parks have excellent resources online and in the nature/visitor center.  I highly recommend doing the planning/research needed because hiking is one of the greatest forms of family engagement for very low costs.

Young children adore nature.

Sometimes they love it so much you don’t get very far on your planned hike if your two year old wants to touch every leaf and climb every rock (see right).  Nature brings out the best in children–the innocence and wonder and joy.  We see them become mini-explorers, scientists, conservationists, researchers, botanists… everything.

Baby "king of the rocks."

But children also can be temperamental, over-sensitive hiking companions.  You have to plan ahead but be willing to go with the flow.  And you have to be confident in your own physical and emotional skills (carrying a squirming, crying 40-ish pound child for 1/2 mile over rocks and tree roots while everyone else looks at you like you are the worst parent ever might happen to you, too).  Here are some tips to make hiking as a family work out a little better:

1. Bring enough water for everyone. I recommend at least one full water bottle per person.
2. Bring snacks with carbs and protein. Our favorite cheap hiking snacks are fresh fruit (if we’re hiking along the Appalachian Trail, we bring extra fresh fruit for thru-hikers if we encounter them), nuts, dark chocolate, and string cheese sticks.  Everyone is always hungrier in the mountains.
3. Bring the child carrier.  Trust me.  Shove it into the bottom of your backpack if you want to encourage your toddler to walk more, but you will always wish you’d brought it if your children are under 5.
4. Dress in layers and proper foot gear. The mountains are cooler than surrounding areas, but you’ll warm up as you hike.  This is not just for the kids–your own comfort is important, too!
5. Be willing to turn around if your kids are just not having it. Our son wasn’t into the hike we took this weekend, but ended up having a great time exploring the nearby lake with Min while my daughter and I forged ahead.  It’s ok.

I also do a bit more research online before embarking on an unfamiliar trail than I did when I was hiking as an adult.  Blogs and trail guides make this very easy these days.  For example, the Cunningham Falls State Park website helped us decide which trail to try when we went there for the first time, years ago.  Get out there and enjoy the woods!

Ways We Save Money: the YMCA

 Originally Posted on April 5, 2018 on Free, Fun, Family

Our family membership to the local YMCA is our biggest entertainment expenditure, but it also offers us so much value for that money.  We have a household membership that covers all four members of our household, but the cost would not increase if we had more children/household members.  However, we save money on this membership in the following ways:

1. I work for the local school district, so we have a 10% employee discount on the monthly fee.
2. We joined in a month with free registration (twice a year they waive the signup fee).
3. Every month we fill out “Frequent Y-er” cards that get entered in a drawing for a free membership.
4. When we travel for a month or more, we suspend our membership during the time we are gone.

Additionally, the YMCA offers reductions in rates for individuals with low incomes and reciprocity agreements with other YMCAs throughout our state and around the nation.  It’s pretty awesome.  Here are some ways we use and have used the Y with no additional costs:

1. Free, up to two hours per day, childcare for children age 6 weeks+ while adults use the facility.  H refers to it as her “school,” and she gets the benefit of socializing with other children and following the directions of other adults without additional preschool costs, while Min works out or relaxes.
2. Tons of awesome group exercise classes.  I’ve become addicted to BANG (a dance fitness class), but also regularly participate in BodyPump and Insanity/CORE classes.  I irregularly participate in Yoga, PiYo, and Zumba, but would do them more often if the times worked with my schedule.
3. Two personal training sessions and a personal training software system, ActivTrax, which helps navigate strength exercise training.
4. Two year-round pools with lots of times for “Open Rec,” which is often a great way to get the kids to expend lots of energy on a day with too much rain or too hot for outdoor play.
5. An indoor track and open gym times for us to play with the kids and encourage their physical education.
6. Reserving racquetball courts for indoor soccer sessions (this is a Min specialty).
7. Socializing (most of our close friendships with local families began at the Y).
8. Great shower facilities for men, women, and children, including family changing/shower rooms for the pool.
9. Outdoor playground equipment for the preschool/daycare, but open for Y members to use.
10. Weekly farmer’s market on the premises (seasonal).

We have also paid modest, member-priced fees to participate in additional programs/services at the Y, including:

1. J’s martial arts classes.
2. Swimming lessons for J and H.
3. Drop-in preschool “open gym” for J and H, when they were each the right ages for this. (I think this is $2-3 for a 2 hour, staff-supervised session with gymnastics equipment).
4. J attended a half-day 3 day/week preschool through the Y when he was three years old.  We won’t do this for H because as a younger sibling, she doesn’t need as much structured exposure to peers before school begins.
5. I pay $35/year for a kit locker that allows me to leave some of my belongings in a locker overnight.  This is a lifesaver for me since before work is the most convenient exercise time for me, so I leave my shower supplies at the Y.
6. Other Y-sponsored fundraising events including an annual magic show and a great trail 5K/10K run.

It is not an exaggeration to say that we, as a family, average 20-30 hours/week at the YMCA (not always all together, but sometimes).  As H grows, she seems very interested in dance and gymnastics, so it seems likely our commitment to the Y will expand at that time.

Many personal finance bloggers view a gym membership as a monthly expense to cut, but I believe our membership actually saves us money on entertainment and children’s supplemental activities.  I’m sure it also indirectly saves our health expenses, mental health expenses (for a stay at home parent, especially), and water bill.  I also think that my increased focus on health (which included upping the hours spent working out at the Y) and weight loss contributed to my success and promotion at work.  I view this membership as an investment in our family health and happiness–and we really use it well!

Stress Will Not Wreck My Plan!

 Originally Posted on April 4, 2018 in Free Fun Family

Let’s talk about a recipe for disaster that has waylaid many of my best intentions to stay committed to goals (financial, health, personal): STRESS!

I don’t mean the “good” stress of a challenging deadline for an exciting project.  Or the preparations for a positively anticipated event.  I mean the life-sucking stress: external pressure from a variety of sources that have a significant, negative, emotional component to them.  Usually it is the emotional component that makes me weaken my resolve.

School projects: A constant source of family stress!

This past weekend had a lot of potential stresses for me:

Holiday weekend (pressure to “make it special”) + big school project coming due for J (anticipating both lots of help in managing his focus through a challenge and that pressure of being “judged” as a mom) + family of origin commitments (and the button-pressing that only can come from family) + several big house projects beginning (exciting, but overwhelming and require spending some money when I don’t want to spend any) = STRESS

In the past, stress would become an excuse to self-destruct.

When I was trying to lose weight, a fight with my mom became an excuse to blow my meal plan and order pizza.  When I was trying to establish a fitness routine, my children coming down with colds that caused me to miss one planned gym session was enough to keep me out of the gym for another three months.  One unexpected bill blew up my entire budget, so I would throw the budget out with the bathwater (so to speak) and buy sushi for three meals.

This never helped me feel any better about my stress or my ability to accomplish goals.  Here is what I learned from my weight loss journey (~50lbs lost over three years in a healthy way that I have maintained for about 6 months now) that ultimately helped me manage stress without abandoning my goals, and how I can apply them to my current debt-reduction goals:

1. Stress is inevitable. Notice it and learn from it. DO NOT JUDGE.  It will happen.  You have to make a plan for how you will cope with it when it happens.  Your plan for coping should be based on observing how you react to stress and how that relates to your goals.  So in the beginning, don’t beat yourself up if you spent more money at the grocery store than you meant to.  Notice it.  Why did it happen? For example, I shopped with my daughter when she was too tired to be in the store, so I made several impulse purchases I would not have made.  Plan: go earlier or after her nap or sans children.
2. You can plan for stress. Take care of your needs when entering stressful times/situations. If you know a usually-stressful event will happen, do self-care in advance.  To prepare for J’s project this week, we have been talking about the steps needed to accomplish the project and “previewing” the work before even starting.  To prepare for my family interactions, I did a couple extra gym classes over the weekend and read a book just for me.
3. Take a step back and look at the whole picture.  See the good.  Generally, stress triggers the flight-or-fight, short-term thinking that is the opposite of your well-planned, long-term goals.  Try to look at the situation that is causing you stress through the lens of your bigger picture goals.  For example, the $60 Min spent on gardening supplies will be a valuable, entertaining, educational family project and possibly net us some vegetables in summer/fall that will reduce some of our grocery costs.  It is in line with our core values, and he was very careful about the money he spent on the supplies.  I can choose to see the good in this spending and the care he made, rather than seeing the immediate conflict with our plan to get out of debt and cut unnecessary spending.

I did ok this weekend.  I did overspend on groceries, but I didn’t let that kill my whole budget.  I went to the gym, but I did spend too much time playing a video game (not calming, addictive) at night rather than reading (calming, educational).  I am developing strategies to manage stress that don’t involve spending money or unhealthy eating.

I can and will do this.  Stress is not an excuse to spend!

Debt Elimination Progress: March 2018

Originally Posted on April 1, 2018 to Free, Fun, Family

Happy Easter and April Fool’s Day!  March was a month for adjusting our expectations–and our spending level.  Min and I had some very honest conversations about finances (both our birthdays are in March, and we used it as a chance to reflect).  I have been working on being more accountable to myself.  However, several major life events are putting some external pressure on our family, making it hard to feel in control.  I’ve discovered that feeling in control and capable is key in making any progress on our financial goals.

Progress from March:

• We got spending (mostly) under control. Although there were still a few emotional purchases and unnecessary spending, we kept total spending for March under budget/earnings.  We have a plan for April (which will be tighter than March because an income stream, albeit a small one, is ending; however, it should reduce spending in some areas).
• I noticed my emotional impulses related to money. When I feel overwhelmed and like I’ll never succeed, I have the impulse to give up and just buy whatever I want.  I found some healthy strategies that help keep me from spending money were increasing exercise, plan for cooking something new, and (strangely) making a small contribution to my emergency fund (I put $20 in $5 or $10 increments this month–it was strangely soothing).  However, I did give in a few times, to the tune of about $150 of unnecessary, impulse spending, mostly on crappy food.  Double whammy.  Working on this.  Seeing how much it adds up helps.
• I did more math. I calculated that my consumer debt is costing me about $7/day.  Ew!  That’s worse than a latte/day habit!  Whenever I’m tempted to spend a dollar or two, I remind myself I’m already wasting that much EVERY DAY I’m in debt.  Until I’m out of debt, I’ve already spent that “indulgence.”
• I noticed that I feel like I’m not making as much progress as I’m making.  I started a spreadsheet to keep track of my total progress in the second half of the month.  It has been soothing when I get frustrated and feel like I’m not making progress.  Also, starting this blog has given me a lot of motivation to write and save!  So here’s the status for the end of March:
  • Home Improvement Loan: $4,500
  • Visa Card: $7,263.36
  • AmEx: $13,600
  • TOTAL: $25,363.36
  • Amount paid off this month: $1,483.64
  • Amount paid off TOTAL: $5,592.64

Again, the real, tangible progress reflected in the monthly calculations helps ground me.  Almost $1,500 is kicking butt!  I won’t be able to hit that in April (I’ve already done the calculations), but it might be a good reach goal for future months!  However, looking at the running total feels super impressive–over $5,000 paid off already–gone FOREVER!

Goals for April:

1. Use up food in the pantry and sub in cheaper ingredients.
2. Plan meals and cook at home–no more restaurants!
3. No drinks but water and coffee made at home (BIG challenge).

 

Children Reflect Your Lived Values

 Originally Posted on March 29, 2018 to Free, Fun, Family

Last night just before bed, my daughter found a baby doll she had “lost” in one of her fake-purse-snack-bags.  She was delighted.  She cuddled and cooed at the baby, changed its diaper before letting me change her diaper, kissed and cuddled it when it “cried,” read it a book, and then nursed it to sleep.  This is almost exactly the way I put her to bed (yes, even at almost three, we bedshare and comfort nurse).  I was warmed in my heart.

Earlier in the evening, my son offered very specific advice about a particular mobile phone puzzle game I’ve been addicted to lately.  I marveled at his creativity in game design. However, I recoiled with the horrifying shock that I’ve spent so much time distracting myself with this game in his presence, he felt he should talk to me about the game to connect with me.  I have made a mental note to stop playing this game for a few weeks to detox from the seductive, numbing distraction I’ve allowed it to become.  I was sad he absorbed such a thoughtless message from my bad habit.

Parenting offers the most powerful mirror I have ever experienced.

Not because children are mini-versions of you, but because they are so hungry for a deep, connected relationship with parents that they notice every tick, every quirk, every comment, every interest, and every habit.  They use that information, processed through their lens and unformed brains, to shape the reactions they want from their parents in whatever ways they can.

Whenever I find myself irritated with the behavior of one of my children, it is easy to blame them or their stage of development.  However, the more awareness I bring to the behavior, the more empathy and deep thought, the more I recognize that the behavior is often a reaction to a poor behavior of my own.

I am constantly working in my parenting practice to bring awareness, presence, and empathy to my interactions with my children and my husband.  However, I’ve also started to realize that it’s not just about being a selfless doormat; it’s about self-improvement and modeling the life and values you want your children to live.

The great thing is that if I listen–really listen–to my children, they will show me where I need the most work.  But they will also show me where I shine.

The Allowance Experiment

Originally Posted on March 28, 2018 in Free, Fun, Family

My son has become very interested in money lately.  Part of it is that he’s learning coins in school (and applying his “count by 5s” skills to nickels).  However, I also remember having a fascination with coins and money and saving/earning when I was young that led me to an interest in personal finance now that I’m grown.  Many young people are natural entrepreneurs, and I like to encourage his interests, but money is a challenging topic for parents.  Especially if, like me, you are still learning yourself!

I’ve read some books and articles that address how/when to do allowances with kids.  Mostly there are two themes: 1) Pay kids for chores or 2) Pay an allowance as a member of the family.  There are lots of arguments about why one pay structure is superior to the other for teaching the value of money and compensation for work.  Some systems actually suggest both (standard pay and then extra for contributions above and beyond).

Trouble is, I’ve never been one for elaborate systems.  We never did sticker charts for potty training.  As a teacher, I found discipline/reward systems too distracting and complex to make work for me in the classroom.  I come from a family of origin where chore lists were made and then promptly ignored.  I don’t want to set up my own children with some system, and then have to change all the rules on them because I forgot what I was doing or how to keep it up.

What to do?  The system I’m using with J rose organically out of a conversation we had over his homework.

J: Mommy, will you pay me money?

Me:  What will you do to earn the money?

J: I don’t know.  What can I do?

Me: Well, what do you want to use the money for?

J: I think I want to save the money.  [a pause] And help you pay your debt.

Me: [smiling–they hear everything, don’t they?] Paying off the debt is our responsibility–your father’s and mine. You don’t have to worry about that.  But saving is a good idea.  You have a savings account at the bank.

J: I do?

Me: Yes. When you were little, sometimes friends and family gave money for you to save. For college and other things you might need when you grow up. Do you want to earn money to save for those things?

J: That’s good.

Me: What are your responsibilities?

J: [thinking] Helping my family. Being nice to my sister.

Me: What about school?

J: My homework and cleaning my lunchbox.

Me: And Appa [Korean for Dad] likes you to practice your piano every day.

J: Yes.

Me: How about we try this: If you meet your responsibilities without Appa and I nagging you or asking you to do them lots of times, you can earn money?

We came up with a list.  J can earn a quarter each for:

1. Completing all his homework independently, with sincere effort.
2. The “10-minute clean-up” (We set a timer for 10 minutes and he organizes/cleans for that time, starting in common areas and finishing in his bedroom).
3. Practicing piano for 15 minutes.

The results so far have been pretty great.  I have to fight with him less to get started on the homework, the house is cleaner because he takes the job more seriously with the timer and money on the line, and he’s progressing in piano.  I like money as a reward more than screen time, since he doesn’t really want to do much more than count and collect it at the moment.  Plus he’s been trying to think of other ways to be responsible that could earn him money.  (Proposed: Pay me to eat my vegetables?  Rejected.  Proposed: Pay me to put away all my clean clothes?  Considered–but you would have to also match all the socks and hang up the school uniform pieces. Proposed: Pay me to help shovel snow?  Accepted, etc.)  He’s earned about $4 a week since we started a few weeks ago.  That’s in line with the approximate recommendations for $1/year of age/week.

Some people are concerned that children who are paid for meeting their obligations won’t value the obligations they have if they are not paid.  That’s fair, but would you keep working at your job if they stopped paying you?  I see that concern, but I also believe you have to know your kid.  J is rules and order oriented.  He likes structure, clarity, and fairness.  He understands that he has to do his chores anyway; this helps him connect family responsibilities to privileges.

Ways We Save Money: Insurance

Originally Posted on March 27, 2018 on Free, Fun Family

In the last two months, close friends of mine have had disaster strike: a home fire with total loss declared and a catastrophic brain injury that will require months (years?) of rehabilitation.  I spent a lot of time cuddling my children tight, donating–yes, even on our tight budget–to GoFundMe for both of them (read about the amazing Sandy and Jessica), and combing over our insurance policy coverage.

None of us like to imagine worst-case scenarios, but we must take responsibilities seriously to protect those that depend on us.  We like to be responsible parents, so we know we need insurance for health, life, auto, and home.  Here are some things we’ve done to save money for each area, while maintaining appropriate coverage.

Health

My family puts a strong emphasis on health through physical activity, good habits, and healthy, wholesome foods.  Luckily, most of us are well most of the time.  However, I have two chronic illnesses that could require significant costs without great insurance.  One is only manageable through (pricey) maintenance medication (found after several years of flares, treated with steroids that may have contributed to the development of the second condition), but the other I’ve gotten under control through diet and exercise.  However, doctors like to monitor all of the complications that these conditions increase my risks for, so I also have more frequent specialist appointments and lab work than the typical “healthy” 37-year-old.  We limit these costs as much as we can by using generics and always going to in-network practitioners.

I am blessed to have access to great family insurance, at a relatively low cost, through my employer.  We also have a tax-advantaged Health Savings Account (HSA) where we put a designated amount tax-free into an account (in the form of payroll deduction) that we can use to pay deductibles, eyeglasses, medications, and other needed care.  We pay attention to this amount to ensure we are using it well.  Some years we under estimate (the year Min broke his leg and I needed physical therapy for a back injury was one), but thanks to the change in rules that allow up to $500 to roll over from year to year, we now do a bit better with our estimation.

Life

Min and I each have term life insurance with low monthly rates.  We estimated coverage for each of us by considering: 1) the mortgage 2) college/education costs for both kids, and 3) income support replacement (for me) or supplemental childcare costs (for him).  I got my 30-year plan right before J was born, but Min only quit smoking that year.  For him, we got a 10-year plan and then another 20-year plan when H was born to replace it at the non-smoker rates.  We are each covered well through the times our kids would need support for around $50/month.

Auto

We drive very safely and not very far (around 5,000 miles/year for my car and around 7,000 miles/year for Min’s).  This saves us money.  We shop rates around annually, but for the last three years have been unable to beat our current rates with Geico.  We get only the coverage we need (no Comprehensive/Collision for cars older than 6 years). Min drove a 20 year old, 2-door beater with two young children in car seats until it was unsafe to do so.

Home

We bundle our home with auto for some savings.  We make sure to let the company know when we make updates that reduce insurance rates (like replacing the HVAC last year).  We keep our deductible fairly high and maintain our home well (fix small issues early on so they don’t become issues and practice fire/water/electrical safety).  This is an expense we are trying to reduce, but don’t really have many options right now.

Disability

I have a great disability insurance coverage through my employment, but we do not have coverage for Min or supplemental coverage.  Min doesn’t work right now, so disability insurance didn’t make much sense for him.  I did look into additional coverage for me, but unfortunately my medical conditions make any such coverage that I would qualify for cost prohibitive.  Instead, I work on keeping my health great and minimizing risks to my health that could result in disability (like not driving as much or engaging in high-risk contact sports/activities).  I don’t live scared or anything like that, but my desire to jump out of a plane is not as great as my desire to provide for my family.

That’s about it.  Big takeaways: Shop around, buy only what you need, minimize the risks through preventative action.  Our family is adequately covered for accidents and problems without a great deal of expense.