Reflections on my first Writing Retreat

This past weekend, I went on my first Writing Retreat to Davis, WV. It's a bit tricky to leave all my responsibilities for a few days, but it seemed like the perfect way to kick-start my sabbatical. The retreat was organized by the (former--she recently took a new job) program coordinator of my doctoral program. Most of the other people who came with us were in my cohort/year, but there were a couple from the year before/after. We went to Davis, WV--one of my favorite places in the world (I used to vacation there as a child). And one of the most beautiful.

The view from the deck of our mountain cabin.

The organizer planned out the very delicious and tasty meals (accommodating both vegetarians and keto diets), set up the quiet hour rules each full day of the retreat, and coordinated all the travel details. We all socialized in the mornings and evenings. I drove out with a member of my writing group, so we were able to chat about our research and our writing goals for the weekend on the drive. I had an (ambitious) goal to finish the draft of my dissertation proposal to the point that I could turn it in to my chair on Monday. I spent Saturday revising Chapter Two (the literature review), incorporating articles or deciding they were not relevant to my argument, and thinking through the details of my study design.

Sunday morning hike in Blackwater Falls State Park

Sunday, after an early morning hike (thanks to daylight savings time!), I dug into finishing the details of Chapter Three (research design and methodology). I must admit that I love writing about the research design as much as I detest completing the literature review, so the experience on Sunday was much more enjoyable! I even took a nice long nap in the middle of quiet hours, having exhausted myself on the hike.

Pase Point--such a beautiful view!

I managed to finish enough that I felt I could turn my draft into my advisor. In the evening, we played a very fun and silly game of "Heads Up" with someone's mobile phone and just enjoyed talking about everything. Overall, it was a great experience. I deepened some existing relationships and made some new friends. I wrote and ate and slept and enjoyed nature. I cannot wait to do another retreat in the Spring!

Blackwater Falls--see the rainbow?

 Once I got back home Monday morning, I did a final read on my proposal draft and sent it to my chair. It felt great!

Christmas joys--meditation and writing

Another Christmas holiday. We enjoyed time with family, new board & card games, books, and many Lego sets & craft kits. Also, the weather stopped gale force winds enough for us to enjoy a family walk in the afternoon.

Discovering ice in the paths near our home--and smashing it!

All in all an enjoyable holiday. Now I have a lovely week with no official work to savor time with family, accomplish little domestic projects, exercise, and cook to my heart's delight.  I plan to indulge heartily in all the things that I enjoy without the guilt about what I "should" be doing right now. Whatever gets done, gets done. Whatever does not, does not. It's all ok!

I'm thinking about plans/goals for the new year. I think taking back up meditation and writing will be the most important. From these habits, all other good things flow. Maybe one goal of prepping meals for the week on Sundays (which helps me have time for meditation and writing as well as saving time, money, and improving my health).

For example, when I meditate, I am more likely to focus on being present, eating whole foods, and treating myself and others with kindness. When I write, I document my thoughts and process the negativity to feel more authentically connected to the directions and goals in my life. Both of these habits then allow my mind to organize best in alignment with the true values I hold in my heart and encourage me to live through these values rather than trying to distract myself from my own life.

Being home all week, I don't really need a meal plan, but I'd like to prepare for meal planning by using up my pantry/fridge/storage. Tonight, I will make a mushroom pilaf (maybe with couscous instead of rice), that I can use to stuff roast acorn squash. I will eat my (already) roasted beets for a snack and work to use up the veggies in my fridge and pantry. I also have a yummy kale-chickpea soup leftovers to eat over the next few days. I think I have to get back into cooking with what's in my home and then shopping to create a weekly plan.

I also really need to limit my sugar. I have been munching on candy thoughtlessly. I don't enjoy it, and it's not helping my life. I think I need to be more purposeful with my sugar intake and only have sweets when it's worth it--like homemade special treats. Maybe I can start munching on popcorn instead. I like that idea.

How was your holiday?

Appreciation for the Calm

Starting 2022 amidst the most widespread outbreak of a 2+ year pandemic has ironically led to a slowing down and calm pace for my life. We've been lucky enough to avoid infection thus far, so now that the rates of Covid transmission and hospitalizations are higher than they've ever been, we've elected to reduce the number of activities we are engaging in at present as a mitigation strategy. The kids are still going to school and taekwondo (masked, thankfully), Min is doing whatever shopping we need, and I am going in person to work most days of the week and taking my Mom to doctor's appointments, but we've mostly curtailed other activities. Even though there is no government mandate to refrain, we find it prudent at this time.

Water always makes me feel peaceful. This is the Monocacy River near our home.

For me, this means no gym classes, no dining out, and no gatherings indoors. What's strange this time is that it seems as though very few other people are limiting some of their activities, despite the fact that our hospital is operating in crisis mode and our school staffs are dealing with absentee rates so high that we are discussing possible short-term contingency plans for in-person instruction. The local college I work with has already decided to stay fully remote with virtual instruction through February 6. There's no guidance to help the public in how to navigate what's happening now, and the CDC Director was describing it as "encouraging" that people like me with immune suppression and diabetes are the people that are dying from this round of infection. I digress...

The kids decided to prepare us breakfast for our anniversary (12 years--WOW). It was quite sweet.

Far from feeling deprived and adrift as I did in the early weeks of March and April 2020, I feel an ease of slipping back into the routines and joys we discovered when the whole world shut down. I find myself grateful for the beautiful nature in our neighborhood on my walks, for the free yoga challenge online, for a wonderful dance instructor still having Sunday Zoom workouts, for more time to play board games with my kids and cook healthy meals. I have enjoyed more time to rest and read, dig into my grad classes, write in this blog.

My little snow bunny.

I feel a kind of contented ease that I don't really recall enjoying in the past. Perhaps, I have just become more comfortable with existing in the present moment and enjoying the company of my family. Maybe I like the excuse to ruthlessly cut nonessentials from my life. Or maybe it was the first huge snowstorm of the year which always makes the world look brand new. Whatever it is, I like it. I'm going to try to cultivate this essentialist approach to my time and enjoyment.

Here's a little hope into the world that we can stay healthy and joyful, even if the world feels like it's conspiring to keep us from those things.

Debt Elimination Update: March 2021 (and Financial Goals for 2021)

I turned 40, both my mother and I are fully vaccinated against Covid, Congress sent us a bunch of money, and the weather is looking up. All in all, March 2021 was VASTLY superior to March 2020. I allowed my blog-business experiment, Free Fun Family, to lapse & it feels good. Kept the domain b/c I like the name. Don't know if I'll use it. Still haven't brought over all my old posts, but I'll get there.

We're so close to paying off the debt I set out to tackle three years ago. In fact, with an expected escrow refund check from the successful completion of our mortgage refinance (2.875%, 30 year, baby), we'll have the credit card portion paid off in April. I have participated in a generous state tax credit program for people with outstanding student loans for the past two years (Marylanders: Check it out), so I think it would be beneficial to shift some of the most urgent financial goals for the remainder of this year.

Hiking was great this month. Here is Wolf Rock!

Here are my NEW 2021 financial goals:

1. Build out the emergency fund to 3 months expenses. We built a full one month e-fund last year to last through the end of debt repayment, but now I'm ready to increase this before finishing the last of the grad loans. Eventually, I would like this to be 6 full months to cover unanticipated employment, home and auto repairs, and potential unpredictable crazy stuff like, oh, say, another pandemic. (Please let it not come to this).
2. Max out my and my husband's Roth IRAs. I have not been able to do this since back when contribution limits were $2,000 (they are now $6,000 per account) in early 2000s. This will be a stretch goal for us, as we are only just over 4% of the way there at the end of Q1. (Note: I am the only income-earner, so my husband's is a Spousal IRA).
3. Increase donations by 1% of income. Last year, not including the money we gifted to family members hit by the shutdowns, we gave 4% while paying off debt. I'm aiming to increase this each year until we are at 10%--I only really started giving substantially a couple years ago. Then I'll hold steady until some very long term financial goals are met. (I do include some of this unexpected stimulus stuff as "income" for my percentage purposes).
4. Stop penny pinching the grocery budget. We love to eat high-quality, local , and organic food. Mingi likes to get stuff that reminds him of home from HMart (the Korean grocery store). I will continue to be extremely conscientious of food waste and unhealthy or environmentally harmful buys, but I already went up one size and egg order for our CSA.
5. Save for a really nice trip for next year. We want to really travel again when the kids are vaccinated. It's a delight and a joy.

We've also got some long term thoughts now that we are almost credit card debt free. We are interested in slow, longer-term travel, my out of pocket Ed.D. expenses, including a sabbatical half-to-full year, and a kitchen remodel. Trying to decide how to prioritize these goals now.

Welcome, Spring!

I am seriously burnt out at work, so I decided to take some annual leave to coincide with my children's Spring Break. This was a good idea. I also am watching more dance movies. This helps, too.

Financial progress from March:

• WOWZA Stimulus Check and State Tax Refund. Largest check to date (I hit under the income limit for single full amount, so yes, we got the full amount for a family of four) and my tax refund both allowed incredible payoffs for this month. We also donated a bit more, increased monthly contributions to the Roth IRAs, and bought my husband a back massager that mounts on his chair, like he has always wanted. Good times.
• Finally signed off the Mortgage Refi. Much lower interest rate and monthly payment. Paying it off early is still a long term goal, but it is not more important than the goals mentioned above at this time.
• Closed some credit cards for simplification purposes. I used balance transfers to keep my interest low while I paid it off, but now I'm hoping to simplify back down to a handful of cards.
• Debt Progress: Here are the numbers for the end of March:
  • Balance Transfer 2 (0% through April 2021): $0 CELEBRATE--one more gone!
  • Balance Transfer 3 (0% through August 2021): $3,000
  • Grad School 1 (5.5%): $1,485.78
  • Grad School 2 (5.5%): $3,945.41
    TOTAL Remaining: $8,431.19
    Amount paid off this month: $6,339.45
    Amount paid off TOTAL: $35,824.49

Look at that crazy 2021 cliff--the debt is just melting away!

Considering that the entire YEAR of 2020 netted a $3,000 (and 87 cents!) payoff on this debt, a single month paying more than double that speaks to how powerful direct giving can be for individuals' finances. The stimulus payments have met some political controversy over concerns that people who didn't "really need" it might get extra money. And we certainly are in the category of not "needing" this money; however, it made a huge difference to our financial picture and will allow us to help more people through community poverty alleviation and direct giving.

While I'm no Andrew Yang enthusiast, I do appreciate what he did to bring the conversation of Universal Basic Income to the national stage during the his presidential bid. I hope that we in the U.S. can divorce ourselves from the inhumanity of equating income with worth.

Hope you had a good March!