Last night Min Gi and I sat down and spent two hours talking about budgeting, financial goals, monthly expenditures, assets, and debts. And it was so much FUN. I didn't expect that. Money makes me extremely nervous--a bad habit I picked up from my dad, who I am more like than I care to admit in good ways and bad. I have been terrified about the idea of merging our finances and nervous about relinquishing control of my independent financial life, but you know what? Being married makes this stuff more exciting. You can talk about anything and everything you want to do, and with the power of two people, you can achieve it even faster!
I've been married now for a little over two months--a tiny blip in the lifetime that I plan to spend with my husband. However, Koreans seem to love asking, "How is married life?" I answer the question in a different way every time, but always prefaced with a "Great!"
Really... I love being married to Min Gi. I thought I would secretly hate it. That somehow the feminist in me would feel subjugated and dimmed by my participating in the institution. I think some of this is assuaged by the fact that I am the prime "breadwinner" (although I despise that term), and will likely continue to be so throughout our relationship because I have an advanced degree and a career.
Perhaps, if I had married the wrong person I would feel more confined and constrained by the idea of marriage. But I was a little lucky (in meeting such a great guy) and very smart (in choosing to be with him). We have so much fun together just talking and dancing and sharing our life that it would be kind of sickening for an outsider to witness. So many times I've wanted to post little "He did/said this today" posts, but I've never been so gushy before about someone. It's ridiculous.
I think my co-workers and students who ask are expecting a different answer. Most female newlyweds in Korea are deeply conflicted. They are happy with their newly gained status, but struggle to adjust to living outside their family's home for the first time. Often, they don't know their fiance that well (people my age date about four months before wedding), so starting to live together is a huge shock. Furthermore the pressure to make babies starts from day one, but young couples are often living with the groom's parents, making the necessary privacy to make babies a bit difficult to come by.
I admit, I get a little kick out of shattering their preconceived notions of wedded misery. "Of course my husband does the dishes--I cook!" "Yes, he cleans most of the house because I work all day and right now he's only part time." "In America, he will probably be a stay at home dad." You'd think in a society as gender-role conservative as Korea, where women are prized for their beauty and men for their wallets, that such statements would earn pity from other women. But really, they all stew with envy.
And tonight Min Gi came home after swing dance (I couldn't go because of busy testing at work--boo!) and announced the mother of all things husbands can say in Korea that women dream of hearing:
"I think I want to give up drinking."
Can't wait to share that one with my co-workers and watch them turn positively green. (Don't worry... I convinced Min Gi that all he needs to do is to learn to control his drinking in a way that makes him happy... like only drinking two drinks when you go out with friends. I'm not the fun police.)
Saturday, March 20, 2010
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Sunday Health Progress
Many of you who read this blog or who know me from real life know that I have long struggled with my weight and had many health issues over the years, most recently being diagnosed with the chronic autoimmune disease ulcerative colitis last May, for which I was hospitalized in October. The last year and a half, a lot of things have happened to me and the people I love that have made more visceral and immediate something that I already knew: My health is the single most important responsibility I have.
Health is a priori for living a good, fulfilling, and happy life. You cannot do anything else really well--your relationships, your job, your passions--without it. When I wrote my wedding vows (which I will post when I write more about the wedding, I promise), I was thinking foremost about health when I made one of them "I choose to take care of myself and my responsibilities, so that I can take care of you and our family."
This is radically different thinking than how I was raised. In my family, we tend to take care of others to the detriment of ourselves. Both of my parents work hard and are extremely generous, and I love them so much for that example. But sometimes I think my brother and I have been also instructed that thinking of (and caring for) others is more important than caring for yourself. I still believe that. However, the last few years have made it clear to me that you cannot really care for others if you are not in at least reasonable shape yourself. (This thinking extends to more areas than just physical health--it also applies to mental health, financial solvency, and teaching--which is my chosen profession).
Now that I am married, I am responsible to my husband for many things (keeping our household going, communicating in loving ways, not sleeping with other guys--you know, the basics). And while I think my 15 year old self would have found this notion ridiculous, I believe that caring for my health is one of the most important. Furthermore, we recently decided that later this year, we will start trying to have a family. Pregnancy scares the crap out of me--mostly because I know that my current health habits are not good enough for the future child I hope to house in my womb and then raise with my husband. But these two factors are combining to make me get serious about changing my habits in a permanent way to maximize my own health.
Oh, irony. That I have to think of how my health impacts others in order to make it a priority for myself. However, so far, these things have been a far more powerful motivator for me than vanity.
I'm doing it a bit different this time. For one thing, although weight loss is a goal, because my being overweight is negatively impacting my health, it's not the only or even the most important part of my health journey. My goals are to be alive long enough to enjoy my life with Min Gi. To be active enough to keep up with my kids. To be healthy enough to have time and focus for my writing and my career (I have used too many sick days of necessity). To have a strong enough body to support a child and give birth without too many complications. To partake of the physical activities that my husband and I enjoy doing together (get your minds out of the gutter, folks--I mean dancing, hiking, swimming, traveling, running, playing, skiing... things like that).
To accomplish these goals I know that I have to do three main things: 1) manage my disease 2) achieve and maintain a healthy weight--for my height, age, and body type I have set a goal of 64 kgs (141 lbs), which would put me at a BMI of 21.5 and 3) increase and sustain my level of fitness--I was happiest when I was active for at least 10 hours a week, half of which were real workouts at TKD, the other half coming from activities like dancing and hiking, that I enjoy.
To that end, I'm focusing on changing 2-3 habits each week. In the past, I would try to change everything all at once. Then when I (inevitably) was unsuccessful with one thing or wouldn't see progress fast enough, I allowed myself to give up on ALL of my health goals. This doesn't work. I want a change in lifestyle here, not just losing a few pounds. So far, it's working!
I began after getting back from the honeymoon with (1) giving up soda (I usually drank 3-4 servings of diet coke each day for most of my life) and replacing it with a cup or two of green tea in the morning, (2) eating food outside the home rarely, and (3) resuming nightly taekwondo, this time with An Il, my old studio and Sa Beom Nim. I'm doing fabulously with #1. I have eaten out only three times since returning to Korea (not bad for a restaurant-addict like myself) and discovering that I really like cooking at home every day. This has required more planning, creativity, and flexibility than I realized (such as running to the store in the morning when I don't have soy milk for my cereal and planning which vegetables will work with the ones I already have in the fridge), but it's been worth it. As for #3, I had a mild flare up of the UC and a huge foot blister that interfered with my resuming, but I am committed. The four times I've gone in the last two weeks have left me feeling AMAZING and the commute by subway is not nearly as bad as I feared it might be, especially because I can read.
This week, I continued my three previous resolutions and added (1) starting to track my weight and (2) getting enough sleep every night. Last Sunday, I weighed in at 82.5 kgs (179 lbs). It's hard not to get emotional about weight, but I've been trying to see it as one measure of my overall health. That's helping. And as for #2, I've been pretty good about getting into bed between 11 and 12 and waking up at 7 most days. I shut off the computer (with it's many downloaded episodes of Ugly Betty and Lost) and read until I fall asleep, usually pretty quickly. I can feel the difference regular rest makes for my body. I have more energy and patience. I can concentrate longer on what I'm doing (hence why the writing has resumed on the blog), and I'm happier. The biggest challenge with this one so far is that Min Gi's schedule is slightly different than mine, since he doesn't work outside the home, and late at night he likes to start really good discussions or he wants to dance or cuddle with me. This is wonderful and delightful, but I have to be really firm about going to bed, or he'd keep me up until 2 every night.
Anyhow, I've decided to make Sundays on my blog a day to reflect on my health progress, set my new goals for the week, and talk about this process. It helps to be reflective in my health journey, and hopefully the accountability of blogging will give me a little extra push to meet my goals.
This week I want to (1) keep a food journal (this helps with both maintaining my disease and losing weight) and (2) eat mindfully (I tend to eat out of habit, boredom, and in response to negative emotions; I would like to be more present with my food this week and try to focus on the tastes/textures and my satiety). Next week, I'll check in with you about how all this is going!
For now, I weighed in this morning at 80.5kgs (177lbs), which is a good loss (1 kg/2lbs) from last week. I feel better rested and had great energy at swing last night. Yesterday, Min Gi and I went swimming at the pool near our house and I did 50 laps and felt amazing! (His response: "Well, there is one sport you are better at than me!" To which I reminded him: "But what about skiing? And horseback riding? And swing dancing? And sailing?" He laughed: "Ok. You are better than me at lots of things.")
Health is a priori for living a good, fulfilling, and happy life. You cannot do anything else really well--your relationships, your job, your passions--without it. When I wrote my wedding vows (which I will post when I write more about the wedding, I promise), I was thinking foremost about health when I made one of them "I choose to take care of myself and my responsibilities, so that I can take care of you and our family."
This is radically different thinking than how I was raised. In my family, we tend to take care of others to the detriment of ourselves. Both of my parents work hard and are extremely generous, and I love them so much for that example. But sometimes I think my brother and I have been also instructed that thinking of (and caring for) others is more important than caring for yourself. I still believe that. However, the last few years have made it clear to me that you cannot really care for others if you are not in at least reasonable shape yourself. (This thinking extends to more areas than just physical health--it also applies to mental health, financial solvency, and teaching--which is my chosen profession).
Now that I am married, I am responsible to my husband for many things (keeping our household going, communicating in loving ways, not sleeping with other guys--you know, the basics). And while I think my 15 year old self would have found this notion ridiculous, I believe that caring for my health is one of the most important. Furthermore, we recently decided that later this year, we will start trying to have a family. Pregnancy scares the crap out of me--mostly because I know that my current health habits are not good enough for the future child I hope to house in my womb and then raise with my husband. But these two factors are combining to make me get serious about changing my habits in a permanent way to maximize my own health.
Oh, irony. That I have to think of how my health impacts others in order to make it a priority for myself. However, so far, these things have been a far more powerful motivator for me than vanity.
I'm doing it a bit different this time. For one thing, although weight loss is a goal, because my being overweight is negatively impacting my health, it's not the only or even the most important part of my health journey. My goals are to be alive long enough to enjoy my life with Min Gi. To be active enough to keep up with my kids. To be healthy enough to have time and focus for my writing and my career (I have used too many sick days of necessity). To have a strong enough body to support a child and give birth without too many complications. To partake of the physical activities that my husband and I enjoy doing together (get your minds out of the gutter, folks--I mean dancing, hiking, swimming, traveling, running, playing, skiing... things like that).
To accomplish these goals I know that I have to do three main things: 1) manage my disease 2) achieve and maintain a healthy weight--for my height, age, and body type I have set a goal of 64 kgs (141 lbs), which would put me at a BMI of 21.5 and 3) increase and sustain my level of fitness--I was happiest when I was active for at least 10 hours a week, half of which were real workouts at TKD, the other half coming from activities like dancing and hiking, that I enjoy.
To that end, I'm focusing on changing 2-3 habits each week. In the past, I would try to change everything all at once. Then when I (inevitably) was unsuccessful with one thing or wouldn't see progress fast enough, I allowed myself to give up on ALL of my health goals. This doesn't work. I want a change in lifestyle here, not just losing a few pounds. So far, it's working!
I began after getting back from the honeymoon with (1) giving up soda (I usually drank 3-4 servings of diet coke each day for most of my life) and replacing it with a cup or two of green tea in the morning, (2) eating food outside the home rarely, and (3) resuming nightly taekwondo, this time with An Il, my old studio and Sa Beom Nim. I'm doing fabulously with #1. I have eaten out only three times since returning to Korea (not bad for a restaurant-addict like myself) and discovering that I really like cooking at home every day. This has required more planning, creativity, and flexibility than I realized (such as running to the store in the morning when I don't have soy milk for my cereal and planning which vegetables will work with the ones I already have in the fridge), but it's been worth it. As for #3, I had a mild flare up of the UC and a huge foot blister that interfered with my resuming, but I am committed. The four times I've gone in the last two weeks have left me feeling AMAZING and the commute by subway is not nearly as bad as I feared it might be, especially because I can read.
This week, I continued my three previous resolutions and added (1) starting to track my weight and (2) getting enough sleep every night. Last Sunday, I weighed in at 82.5 kgs (179 lbs). It's hard not to get emotional about weight, but I've been trying to see it as one measure of my overall health. That's helping. And as for #2, I've been pretty good about getting into bed between 11 and 12 and waking up at 7 most days. I shut off the computer (with it's many downloaded episodes of Ugly Betty and Lost) and read until I fall asleep, usually pretty quickly. I can feel the difference regular rest makes for my body. I have more energy and patience. I can concentrate longer on what I'm doing (hence why the writing has resumed on the blog), and I'm happier. The biggest challenge with this one so far is that Min Gi's schedule is slightly different than mine, since he doesn't work outside the home, and late at night he likes to start really good discussions or he wants to dance or cuddle with me. This is wonderful and delightful, but I have to be really firm about going to bed, or he'd keep me up until 2 every night.
Anyhow, I've decided to make Sundays on my blog a day to reflect on my health progress, set my new goals for the week, and talk about this process. It helps to be reflective in my health journey, and hopefully the accountability of blogging will give me a little extra push to meet my goals.
This week I want to (1) keep a food journal (this helps with both maintaining my disease and losing weight) and (2) eat mindfully (I tend to eat out of habit, boredom, and in response to negative emotions; I would like to be more present with my food this week and try to focus on the tastes/textures and my satiety). Next week, I'll check in with you about how all this is going!
For now, I weighed in this morning at 80.5kgs (177lbs), which is a good loss (1 kg/2lbs) from last week. I feel better rested and had great energy at swing last night. Yesterday, Min Gi and I went swimming at the pool near our house and I did 50 laps and felt amazing! (His response: "Well, there is one sport you are better at than me!" To which I reminded him: "But what about skiing? And horseback riding? And swing dancing? And sailing?" He laughed: "Ok. You are better than me at lots of things.")
Friday, March 12, 2010
Angkor: Day Two
The second day of the honeymoon, we rose at 4 a.m. to make it out to the main temple, Angkor Wat, for a 6 a.m. sunrise. Walking to the temple in the dark was very spooky--especially because we forgot our flashlight back at the guesthouse. Fortunately, Min Gi had brought his cell phone!
We spent about three early morning hours exploring Angkor Wat, before the crowds overrun it. It is by far the most impressive temple in the park (hence why the whole park is named for it). The grounds and towers are massive and from the top you can see out over most of the whole city. The innermost temple (quite a steep stair climb up) is still a sacred site for the Khmer, so you have to cover your shoulders. I had stupidly worn one of the few sleeveless shirts I wore all vacation on that day, so I almost missed out on the experience. Fortunately, a kind tour guide loaned me his scarf so that I could go up with my husband. In the album there is a sad picture of Min Gi looking down at me left behind.
The other temples on the "Grand Circuit" were less crowded than the "Little Circuit" and much more interesting. My favorite temple site in the whole complex was Ta Prohm, known as the "jungle temple."
I think I took many of my favorite pictures from the whole trip on this day, so you really should check out the full 104-picture album:
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| Angkor Wat and the "Grand Circuit" Temples |
Angkor: Day One!
I'm finally starting to post about the honeymoon--it's only been a month since we departed Korea for Siem Reap, Cambodia. Siem Reap is best known for being the city nearest the Angkor Wat archaeological park. We spent three days exploring the temples and surrounding areas. On the first full day, our tuktuk (a passenger trailer pulled behind a motorcycle--perfect for transporting two people) driver, Tee, took us to Angkor Thom and then around to some surrounding temples on what's called the "Little Circuit."
To see all of our pictures from the first day at Angkor, check out the photo album:
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| Angkor Thom and "Little Circuit" Temples |
Thursday, March 11, 2010
State of the Blog: Three Years...
Tomorrow is my blog's three year birthday.
Although I generally dislike metablogging (blogging about blogging for those of you less fancy-wording folk), my inspiration to write this last week has been lacking (maybe you noticed) because of another brief flare up of the ulcerative colitis and the return-from-travel blahs from my post-honeymoon reality shock. I feel that I'd like to take stock of what this blog is and how it's changed over the last three years. But most importantly, how it has changed me.
Before this blog, I wrote on livejournal for about four-five years, although most of that was friends-only and is now privately archived for myself. I have kept some kind of regular writing journal since I was in about sixth grade (and wrote story collections throughout elementary school before that), but bringing it online and making my private life much more public has changed my writing and my personality--almost entirely in positive ways. Here are five of them:
So, yeah... blogging is great.
But my life is changing so much this year, I worry that my blog will change too much. I'm married now (so less blogging about the single life and dating). I'm moving back to the U.S. to become a public school teacher again, and while I am in no way ashamed of anything I've written here, nor would I be upset if my students discovered my private writing life (if anything, it is an EXCELLENT example of what I tell them about writing all the time), education in America is a bit of a double-edged sword--and internet life has cost more than one teacher her job. Also, living in the U.S. as an American is just a lot less exotic than living in a foreign country. Finally, Min Gi and I are planning to start a family when we are settled (read: I find a job) in the U.S. (yes, Mom and Dad, you read that right), and while exposing my adult friends on the blog is great fun, I'm protective of children and wouldn't want to reveal as much about them to an unknown audience. So in the near future, my "slice of life" blog may, of necessity, get a bit less revealing. I hope, though, not less interesting.
What's a girl to blog about? I'm going to keep blogging about the workings of my intercultural marriage and what I learn of my current favorite country (Korea) and its language. I'm still reading a lot (though I missed two Wednesday Reviews), and I will blog about what I'm reading. I still plan to travel (a LOT), and write about the places I go and the things/people I see there (I have at least a week's worth of blogs about the honeymoon I'm working on). As I continue to struggle with my ulcerative colitis, I may need to write about my ongoing health issues, especially now that I've resumed taekwondo at An Il with the intention to get my second black belt before I leave Korea. I'll probably write more about education in the U.S. because as a teacher there, I'm a bigger cog in the system than I am, as a native-speaking English teacher, in Korea. And I'll probably blog more about my family, as I will be living with/near them. Recently, I'm getting into frugal living/personal finance blogs and the minimalist movement, so I might write some about that (ridding myself of possessions is quite freeing). I hope you find all this fun and entertaining to read. I think my blog will become more hodgepodge (a little of this, a little of that) and less Korea-intense. Those of you reading it primarily because of your interest in Korea might find less of value, but I hope others will still remain curious about my very strange "wonderings."
Finally, I'm in the beginning stages of "monetizing" my blog, which for those of you not versed in blog-ese, means advertising or partnering with sites to earn money for people clicking on some links in my blog. I've been resistant to doing this for some time, but I've finally figured out what I want to do: I want to donate all the money I earn from this blog to my favorite charities. I love volunteering, but I know that many organizations benefit more from financial donations than they do that of time. However, I'm not rich. Nor will I ever be rich (teachers don't end up with foundations and scholarships named after them all that often, especially not those who are addicted to travel and are the main earner in the family). I donate money to charity every year, but it's not much. So here's the deal: Please click on my links if you plan to buy books (or other goodies) from Amazon. I'm going to be compiling my Korea story into a downloadable narrative e-book that I'll charge a small fee for. I may even play with Google's fancy monetizing features. Whatever money I make from so doing, I will donate to charity. I will track it openly for you in a tab (for accountability purposes--and because everyone keeps talking about "making money from blogging" and I remain firmly unconvinced of the earning power of life-narrative blogs like mine) and where I have given it. If you become inspired to give to one of my pet charity projects, please leave me a comment so that I know you care! (Please note: My husband HATES that I tell people about my charitable giving because he thinks it is "bragging." I used to feel that way, but having worked for enough charitable organizations in volunteer capacities, I now see the power of fundraising for them. And I believe that giving begets giving, but not if no one knows about it.)
So there it is: My blogging past, present, and future.
Here's to another happy year of blogging and living!
Although I generally dislike metablogging (blogging about blogging for those of you less fancy-wording folk), my inspiration to write this last week has been lacking (maybe you noticed) because of another brief flare up of the ulcerative colitis and the return-from-travel blahs from my post-honeymoon reality shock. I feel that I'd like to take stock of what this blog is and how it's changed over the last three years. But most importantly, how it has changed me.
Before this blog, I wrote on livejournal for about four-five years, although most of that was friends-only and is now privately archived for myself. I have kept some kind of regular writing journal since I was in about sixth grade (and wrote story collections throughout elementary school before that), but bringing it online and making my private life much more public has changed my writing and my personality--almost entirely in positive ways. Here are five of them:
1. I am more adventurous than I was. Because I started the blog to record my travels to Korea (and other places), I've pushed myself to try more things, meet more people, take more pictures, and do more things than I might have done without the inspiration to record it. Three years ago, I'd never been outside of the U.S. Now, I've lived in Korea for two and a half years (visiting many, many places there), traveled on my own to Vietnam, and just came back from my self-planned honeymoon to Cambodia and Thailand. It might not sound like a lot to some of my travel-happy blog buddies, but compared to where I was three years ago, it's awesome.
2. As a writer, I am more confident than I was. The instantaneous feedback of blog comments is both a blessing and a curse, and I've definitely had to deal with some hits to my fragile writing ego from negative comments. However, the overall response to my writing has been positive and the feedback has provided consistent critique for my writing without having to be in school. As a result, I have been writing more than ever and submitting more of my writing to literary magazines. So far, no takers... but I do admit that I haven't been as vigilant about this as I'd like to be.
3. I have deeper, more meaningful relationships with the family members and friends who read my blog. Not all of my real-life friends and family read what I write, but those that do (like my mom who sometimes comments on here and Sa Beom Nim's wife whose checking on my life reminded me how much I missed my old TKD studio) know me in a way that I don't always reveal face-to-face. I also have made good real-life friends that I originally met through blogging, like Amanda. (Side note: When I first blogged with livejournal, the opposite happened. I very quickly lost some friendships and damaged some others very seriously (which have thankfully recovered and are much stronger). However, having blogged more these days, I think that was kind of a fluke and that I just had some very mutually toxic friendships in college. Generally, blogging and honesty in writing has been cathartic and unifying.
4. I am more accountable to myself and my goals. Not only can I go back and read them anytime I want to, I feel like anybody in the world can look at my blog posts and read about my plans and put two and two together and figure out if I failed to keep the promises I made to myself (I often do... or at least don't accomplish them on my planned time frame). As a direct result of blog accountability pressure, I've gotten out of consumer debt, obtained a black belt in taekwondo, and become very selective in who I date (which, in turn, led to dating and marrying Min Gi).
5. I am more vulnerable and honest than I was. The ability to open up to others is not something that comes naturally to me, although I am a pretty good listener. It's not exactly that I lie about the facts of my life (I've always been disturbingly honest about those--like the third grade autobiography that matter-of-factly discusses my adopted brother's history of abuse), I just tend not to share what I'm really feeling or thinking about things. Partly, I (mistakenly) assume those I feel closest to will know them without me having to tell them and partly, I hate being vulnerable. Although I haven't gotten into it on this blog (relevance, people), some of my childhood was pretty screwed up and a huge chunk of it (between the ages of 4 and 7-9) is just missing (yes, I have vivid, ordinary memories from ages 2 and 3... so it's not just a normal "I forgot" thing). Therapy (and other writing not-suitable-for-blogging) healed that mess, but it left me without the ability to risk showing my true hand. I'm still scared of emotional nudity, but blogging, for all its limitations of being a very public forum and therefore I actually cannot discuss the specifics of certain things (mostly job related), is cathartic. Like a shy woman discovering her own beauty through the eye of the skilled photographer, writing out my feelings and seeing them reflected in the comments I get lets me see their strength. Feelings that before, I thought were a sign of weakness.)
So, yeah... blogging is great.
But my life is changing so much this year, I worry that my blog will change too much. I'm married now (so less blogging about the single life and dating). I'm moving back to the U.S. to become a public school teacher again, and while I am in no way ashamed of anything I've written here, nor would I be upset if my students discovered my private writing life (if anything, it is an EXCELLENT example of what I tell them about writing all the time), education in America is a bit of a double-edged sword--and internet life has cost more than one teacher her job. Also, living in the U.S. as an American is just a lot less exotic than living in a foreign country. Finally, Min Gi and I are planning to start a family when we are settled (read: I find a job) in the U.S. (yes, Mom and Dad, you read that right), and while exposing my adult friends on the blog is great fun, I'm protective of children and wouldn't want to reveal as much about them to an unknown audience. So in the near future, my "slice of life" blog may, of necessity, get a bit less revealing. I hope, though, not less interesting.
What's a girl to blog about? I'm going to keep blogging about the workings of my intercultural marriage and what I learn of my current favorite country (Korea) and its language. I'm still reading a lot (though I missed two Wednesday Reviews), and I will blog about what I'm reading. I still plan to travel (a LOT), and write about the places I go and the things/people I see there (I have at least a week's worth of blogs about the honeymoon I'm working on). As I continue to struggle with my ulcerative colitis, I may need to write about my ongoing health issues, especially now that I've resumed taekwondo at An Il with the intention to get my second black belt before I leave Korea. I'll probably write more about education in the U.S. because as a teacher there, I'm a bigger cog in the system than I am, as a native-speaking English teacher, in Korea. And I'll probably blog more about my family, as I will be living with/near them. Recently, I'm getting into frugal living/personal finance blogs and the minimalist movement, so I might write some about that (ridding myself of possessions is quite freeing). I hope you find all this fun and entertaining to read. I think my blog will become more hodgepodge (a little of this, a little of that) and less Korea-intense. Those of you reading it primarily because of your interest in Korea might find less of value, but I hope others will still remain curious about my very strange "wonderings."
Finally, I'm in the beginning stages of "monetizing" my blog, which for those of you not versed in blog-ese, means advertising or partnering with sites to earn money for people clicking on some links in my blog. I've been resistant to doing this for some time, but I've finally figured out what I want to do: I want to donate all the money I earn from this blog to my favorite charities. I love volunteering, but I know that many organizations benefit more from financial donations than they do that of time. However, I'm not rich. Nor will I ever be rich (teachers don't end up with foundations and scholarships named after them all that often, especially not those who are addicted to travel and are the main earner in the family). I donate money to charity every year, but it's not much. So here's the deal: Please click on my links if you plan to buy books (or other goodies) from Amazon. I'm going to be compiling my Korea story into a downloadable narrative e-book that I'll charge a small fee for. I may even play with Google's fancy monetizing features. Whatever money I make from so doing, I will donate to charity. I will track it openly for you in a tab (for accountability purposes--and because everyone keeps talking about "making money from blogging" and I remain firmly unconvinced of the earning power of life-narrative blogs like mine) and where I have given it. If you become inspired to give to one of my pet charity projects, please leave me a comment so that I know you care! (Please note: My husband HATES that I tell people about my charitable giving because he thinks it is "bragging." I used to feel that way, but having worked for enough charitable organizations in volunteer capacities, I now see the power of fundraising for them. And I believe that giving begets giving, but not if no one knows about it.)
So there it is: My blogging past, present, and future.
Here's to another happy year of blogging and living!
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
한국어 화요일 (Korean Tuesday)
Note: I am not giving this to a Korean speaker before publishing it on my blog.
신혼여행할때 여보와 한국어 가끔 말했다. 요즘, 저는 연습 못해서 제 한국어 진짜 나쁘다 (여러분 보일수있다). 하지만, 한국어말하기 아주 재미있고 한국사람과 결혼했기 때문에 중요하다. 그래서, 지금 우리집에서 화요일에는 한국어만 사용하다.
What I was trying to say: While Min Gi and I were on our honeymoon, we sometimes spoke Korean. These days, I don't practice, so my Korean is very bad (You all can see). But, speaking Korean is fun and, because I am married to a Korean person, important. So, now in our house we use only Korean on Tuesdays.
***
I will also be trying to write a bit of my Tuesday blog in Korean, to keep in the spirit of studying. I keep another study notebook and journal for practice because I really don't need to prove to the world what a complete failure I am at learning languages. However, I will try to be brave and publish some small pieces on Tuesdays.
I'm quite rusty, so please have some patience with me. Min Gi is very patient, which helps. He wants to have a penalty for speaking in English on Tuesday, but he hasn't decided what that penalty will be (oh no!). So far today, we've both forgotten twice, but then we go back to speaking in Korean--so no penalties thus far. It is working as an inspiration for studying. I'm making some flashcards tonight!
Tonight I also return to my old TKD studio, An Il. The commute is ridiculous (like an hour subway, and 15 min walking on each end), but I've come to realize that I just enjoy Sa Beom Nim as an instructor and value my relationship with him and his wife and kids too much not to spend some time with them my last six months here. I will use the time on the subway to keep up with my reading goals and, hopefully, earn my second degree belt before I leave.
As for honeymoon (and more wedding--yes, I'm really late on those) pictures and posts, they're coming! I've started the process of combing through my 1500 photos from the last two weeks. Today was the first day back at school (both chaotic and easy and I don't want to blog about it at all), so I'm back in a normal schedule which should allow me to make better progress on all my current goals. However, I'm also losing my house husband as Min Gi is going back to work later this week or early next week. My dishes will be a bit less sparkling and my lunch breaks substantially less amusing, but there will be a bit more money for the new laptop he needs to buy (his old one is pretty much dead) and saving for the big move in August.
신혼여행할때 여보와 한국어 가끔 말했다. 요즘, 저는 연습 못해서 제 한국어 진짜 나쁘다 (여러분 보일수있다). 하지만, 한국어말하기 아주 재미있고 한국사람과 결혼했기 때문에 중요하다. 그래서, 지금 우리집에서 화요일에는 한국어만 사용하다.
What I was trying to say: While Min Gi and I were on our honeymoon, we sometimes spoke Korean. These days, I don't practice, so my Korean is very bad (You all can see). But, speaking Korean is fun and, because I am married to a Korean person, important. So, now in our house we use only Korean on Tuesdays.
***
I will also be trying to write a bit of my Tuesday blog in Korean, to keep in the spirit of studying. I keep another study notebook and journal for practice because I really don't need to prove to the world what a complete failure I am at learning languages. However, I will try to be brave and publish some small pieces on Tuesdays.
I'm quite rusty, so please have some patience with me. Min Gi is very patient, which helps. He wants to have a penalty for speaking in English on Tuesday, but he hasn't decided what that penalty will be (oh no!). So far today, we've both forgotten twice, but then we go back to speaking in Korean--so no penalties thus far. It is working as an inspiration for studying. I'm making some flashcards tonight!
Tonight I also return to my old TKD studio, An Il. The commute is ridiculous (like an hour subway, and 15 min walking on each end), but I've come to realize that I just enjoy Sa Beom Nim as an instructor and value my relationship with him and his wife and kids too much not to spend some time with them my last six months here. I will use the time on the subway to keep up with my reading goals and, hopefully, earn my second degree belt before I leave.
As for honeymoon (and more wedding--yes, I'm really late on those) pictures and posts, they're coming! I've started the process of combing through my 1500 photos from the last two weeks. Today was the first day back at school (both chaotic and easy and I don't want to blog about it at all), so I'm back in a normal schedule which should allow me to make better progress on all my current goals. However, I'm also losing my house husband as Min Gi is going back to work later this week or early next week. My dishes will be a bit less sparkling and my lunch breaks substantially less amusing, but there will be a bit more money for the new laptop he needs to buy (his old one is pretty much dead) and saving for the big move in August.
Monday, March 1, 2010
Arriving Home.
After flying all night from tropical, beautiful Bangkok, we arrived to four degree Celsius rainfall in Incheon. While it is wonderful to be home, the ugliness of Korea's concrete buildings combined with the dreary weather and the looming thought of work tomorrow with nary a clue about what my schedule will look like (oh the last minute-ness of everything!) are ganging up to make me yearn for a different lifestyle, for a new country.
I know that when spring arrives, I'll start waxing bittersweet about my last six months (less, actually) in Korea for a few years, but for now, I'm wishing I was back at the beach with a glass of red wine and no responsibilities but to finish my novel and frolic in the waves with my husband.
Many posts about the places we went are forthcoming. For now, I'll just say that we had so much fun, we've decided to have a honeymoon at least once a year.
I know that when spring arrives, I'll start waxing bittersweet about my last six months (less, actually) in Korea for a few years, but for now, I'm wishing I was back at the beach with a glass of red wine and no responsibilities but to finish my novel and frolic in the waves with my husband.
Many posts about the places we went are forthcoming. For now, I'll just say that we had so much fun, we've decided to have a honeymoon at least once a year.
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Wednesday Review #3
This entry was pre-written because I am currently on my honeymoon in Cambodia and Thailand!
The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini is one of the best books I have ever read. It is also one of the most heartbreaking. In fact, it reminded me in many, many ways of the saddest English novel ever written, Jude the Obscure by Thomas Hardy, a book so depressing that after writing it, Hardy gave up writing prose and stuck only to poetry for the last 20 years of his writing career (although making him one of the few writers to gain substantial, critical acclaim in more than one genre). Just as nineteenth century Jude negotiates faith and identity in a rapidly modernizing England, Amir must reconcile the beautiful Kabul of his childhood with the Taliban-controlled extremist state of 2001 and the split American/Afghan identity within him. Both characters are paralyzed by and must confront their own flawed humanity.
Really this book has been praised so much that it would be impossible for me to add anything new to the conversation, except this: When I read Les Miserables by Victor Hugo in seventh grade, I was up all night weeping and reading. I came to my parents the next morning, eyes bloodshot and completely in earnest, and said, "I have to go to Paris right now." My parents thought this was a cute moment of my melodramatic nature, but really just the book evoked such an intense connection with a place I'd never been that I felt in that instant that I must reconcile the gap between my changed heart and my physical location. After reading The Kite Runner, I feel the same aching need to visit Kabul, Afghanistan.
It is absolutely a must-read, and I cannot wait to read Hosseini's second, A Thousand Splendid Suns.
The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini is one of the best books I have ever read. It is also one of the most heartbreaking. In fact, it reminded me in many, many ways of the saddest English novel ever written, Jude the Obscure by Thomas Hardy, a book so depressing that after writing it, Hardy gave up writing prose and stuck only to poetry for the last 20 years of his writing career (although making him one of the few writers to gain substantial, critical acclaim in more than one genre). Just as nineteenth century Jude negotiates faith and identity in a rapidly modernizing England, Amir must reconcile the beautiful Kabul of his childhood with the Taliban-controlled extremist state of 2001 and the split American/Afghan identity within him. Both characters are paralyzed by and must confront their own flawed humanity.
Really this book has been praised so much that it would be impossible for me to add anything new to the conversation, except this: When I read Les Miserables by Victor Hugo in seventh grade, I was up all night weeping and reading. I came to my parents the next morning, eyes bloodshot and completely in earnest, and said, "I have to go to Paris right now." My parents thought this was a cute moment of my melodramatic nature, but really just the book evoked such an intense connection with a place I'd never been that I felt in that instant that I must reconcile the gap between my changed heart and my physical location. After reading The Kite Runner, I feel the same aching need to visit Kabul, Afghanistan.
It is absolutely a must-read, and I cannot wait to read Hosseini's second, A Thousand Splendid Suns.
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Cambodian Smells...
Suosdei! (Hello!)
Cambodia smells like a verdant, dense jungle, far off in the distance. Like motorbike exhaust from the tuktuks--passenger carts pulled behind the bikes. It smells of garlic and ginger, fish sauce and green onions. Of dust--all over the marble sandstone temples and roads. It smells like burning trash and dung, like a muddy, dried-up (because of the season) lake once filled with fish, now allowed to become over-fished and polluted by a corrupt and exploitative government. It smells of mosquito spray and sweat, of fresh pineapple and exotic flowers. Of incense at the temples and crap from the poor plumbing.
Cambodia is intense and beautiful, its people friendly and desperate, its history glorious and devastating. I am loving it here.
Cambodia smells like a verdant, dense jungle, far off in the distance. Like motorbike exhaust from the tuktuks--passenger carts pulled behind the bikes. It smells of garlic and ginger, fish sauce and green onions. Of dust--all over the marble sandstone temples and roads. It smells like burning trash and dung, like a muddy, dried-up (because of the season) lake once filled with fish, now allowed to become over-fished and polluted by a corrupt and exploitative government. It smells of mosquito spray and sweat, of fresh pineapple and exotic flowers. Of incense at the temples and crap from the poor plumbing.
Cambodia is intense and beautiful, its people friendly and desperate, its history glorious and devastating. I am loving it here.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Wednesday Review #2
This entry was pre-written because I am currently on my honeymoon in Cambodia and Thailand!
Jarhead: A Marine's Chronicle of the Gulf War and Other Battles by Anthony Swofford is an intense, honest war memoir by a Marine sniper who served during the Gulf War in 1990. Swofford's prose is as blunt and masculinely intimidating as the violent, gruff, and deadly figure the so-called "jarheads" cut that earned them their nickname. As with most good war literature, it was very difficult to read, but worth the discomfort and brutality. It was made into a movie that I haven't seen starring Jake Gyllenhaal, but I cannot imagine the qualities that I enjoy in this book would translate well into a movie.
For example, one motif of the book is the letters that are mailed in and out of the barracks in the desert and the power that they held over the marines stuck waiting for the political and economic battle being waged in Washington and Saudi to determine their fate. Swofford writes:
Although I wasn't quite as impressed with Jarhead as with my all-time favorite book (not just war book) The Things They Carried by Vietnam vet Tim O'Brien (it might actually be impossible to impress me more than this book), I found it to be very readable and engaging. It also gives some insight into what the current war in Iraq must be like for the soldiers still entrenched, which is something most of us could do well to remember.
Jarhead: A Marine's Chronicle of the Gulf War and Other Battles by Anthony Swofford is an intense, honest war memoir by a Marine sniper who served during the Gulf War in 1990. Swofford's prose is as blunt and masculinely intimidating as the violent, gruff, and deadly figure the so-called "jarheads" cut that earned them their nickname. As with most good war literature, it was very difficult to read, but worth the discomfort and brutality. It was made into a movie that I haven't seen starring Jake Gyllenhaal, but I cannot imagine the qualities that I enjoy in this book would translate well into a movie.
For example, one motif of the book is the letters that are mailed in and out of the barracks in the desert and the power that they held over the marines stuck waiting for the political and economic battle being waged in Washington and Saudi to determine their fate. Swofford writes:
I was in the Desert, sending out messages worldwide, clamouring for love with my pen. And with each letter I wrote and sealed, parts of me escaped the Kingdom of Saud. At times I thought I might write myself away, fit my entire body and mind into a few thick envelopes, and that way, as a stowaway, escape the ghastly end that awaited me.I find it hard to imagine a movie dramatizing the urgency of the need to write himself away from the war, although this is such a powerful image in a book. I remember seeing the previews of this movie and being uninterested--after reading the book I'm only a little more interested (if you've seen it and liked it, feel free to convince me otherwise).
Although I wasn't quite as impressed with Jarhead as with my all-time favorite book (not just war book) The Things They Carried by Vietnam vet Tim O'Brien (it might actually be impossible to impress me more than this book), I found it to be very readable and engaging. It also gives some insight into what the current war in Iraq must be like for the soldiers still entrenched, which is something most of us could do well to remember.
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