 |
| DMZ (De-milita |
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Sarah's Here!
My sister is visiting, so no updates. Just forgot how much I miss her. We're going around a bunch, and I'm taking tons of photos, so I'll have lots to blog about soon. For now, be freaked out by looking at North Korean soldiers in my album from the DMZ tour we took on Friday:
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Plans? What plans?
This weekend was a three day holiday (the Korean memorial day). I was supposed to go to Japan with Se Jin. And then to Uleongdo, a beautiful island off the east coast. Then a day trip to Oedo, another island. But everything kept getting cancelled. We have bad travel luck.
So I made plans with Min Gi to go hiking. I met him Friday morning, as agreed, but on our way to the mountain mentioned that my friends Kelly and Sarah were at Haeundae Beach in Busan for the day. So Min Gi asked if I wanted to go to Busan instead of hiking. I didn't have any beach stuff on me, but when have I ever let minor details like that stop me from going to the water?
Turned out to be a gorgeous day and a sand art festival.
Beautiful, right?
We had a lovely day, even if Min Gi was late getting back to the bar where he works some nights, Sugar Joe's. With Kelly amusingly chastising Min Gi's smoking, Sarah's beaver blogging, dinner at Hello, Thai (an AWESOME restaurant), and a sprint to catch the train because we arrived at the station five minutes before departure, the day was very memorable.
After this, I met Leah for swing dancing and good times, ended up losing my cell phone and generally feeling a bit crazy, but it was lots of fun.
The next day I was meeting Se Jin to go on a road trip in lieu of our failed plans. We ended up driving out to Yeongcheon to her parents' farm for lunch and then to Pohang, a city on the east coast, to sit on the beach. Then we were so tired we had to go home. But again, the day was lovely for photography, at least in Yeoungcheon. Pohang was a little industrial and polluted for my taste.
Summer blooms
Drying peppers
I didn't want to go out to swing because I was so tired, but I had to find my phone, so I figured I'd head there first. Good idea because my friend Hayoung knew where it was--at Sugar Joe's. I retrieved it quickly, painlessly, and with plenty of time for the last Lindy Hop class Ben was teaching. There were lots of folks out that night, and I wanted to hang out with everyone after dancing, but I was just too damned tired. So I went home.
Sunday morning I cleaned my house--fantastic. Much needed.
Sunday afternoon was the beginner jitterbug class taught by Joe and Lena that I had been massively recruiting for, so I came out to support and offer what help was needed. Min Gi came out--he's going to learn to swing dance. I like this boy more each day! The class went out for dinner afterwards and were caught in the most amazing thunderstorm. So beautiful...
Check out my other pictures from Busan and Yeongcheon:
Overall, a fantastic weekend. More blogging to come. Sarah arrives Thursday--I'm so excited to see my sister!
So I made plans with Min Gi to go hiking. I met him Friday morning, as agreed, but on our way to the mountain mentioned that my friends Kelly and Sarah were at Haeundae Beach in Busan for the day. So Min Gi asked if I wanted to go to Busan instead of hiking. I didn't have any beach stuff on me, but when have I ever let minor details like that stop me from going to the water?
Turned out to be a gorgeous day and a sand art festival.
We had a lovely day, even if Min Gi was late getting back to the bar where he works some nights, Sugar Joe's. With Kelly amusingly chastising Min Gi's smoking, Sarah's beaver blogging, dinner at Hello, Thai (an AWESOME restaurant), and a sprint to catch the train because we arrived at the station five minutes before departure, the day was very memorable.
After this, I met Leah for swing dancing and good times, ended up losing my cell phone and generally feeling a bit crazy, but it was lots of fun.
The next day I was meeting Se Jin to go on a road trip in lieu of our failed plans. We ended up driving out to Yeongcheon to her parents' farm for lunch and then to Pohang, a city on the east coast, to sit on the beach. Then we were so tired we had to go home. But again, the day was lovely for photography, at least in Yeoungcheon. Pohang was a little industrial and polluted for my taste.
I didn't want to go out to swing because I was so tired, but I had to find my phone, so I figured I'd head there first. Good idea because my friend Hayoung knew where it was--at Sugar Joe's. I retrieved it quickly, painlessly, and with plenty of time for the last Lindy Hop class Ben was teaching. There were lots of folks out that night, and I wanted to hang out with everyone after dancing, but I was just too damned tired. So I went home.
Sunday morning I cleaned my house--fantastic. Much needed.
Sunday afternoon was the beginner jitterbug class taught by Joe and Lena that I had been massively recruiting for, so I came out to support and offer what help was needed. Min Gi came out--he's going to learn to swing dance. I like this boy more each day! The class went out for dinner afterwards and were caught in the most amazing thunderstorm. So beautiful...
Check out my other pictures from Busan and Yeongcheon:
 |
| Busan and Yeongcheon |
Overall, a fantastic weekend. More blogging to come. Sarah arrives Thursday--I'm so excited to see my sister!
Monday, June 2, 2008
Don't get sick / 축하축하!
Taekwondo training has calmed down a bit since we got the news of our black belts. It's not as stressful and has gone back to being silly and fun. We play with the nun chucks and jump ropes and stuff a lot more. We goof around with jumping and running. Again, it feels like I'm playing rather than exercising. I love this.
However, physically it seems to have gotten a bit more demanding. We're doing a lot more kick combinations that involve this fast spinning motion which hurts a bit when you don't land it just right. We've been doing more kicks with running starts and more repetitions before landing. We did some practice with using a kick to turn midair and push off the person/body-bag you just kicked. It's fun and looks all spiffy cool when you do it right, but it's tough.
Samantha's had a minor injury since just before belt testing, but it seems to get worse and better depending on the day. And with my encounters with allergies and sunburn, we've been trading off sick moments occasionally. Sa Beom Nim has taken to adding the admonition "아프지마! Don't get sick!" along with his regular (and ritualized) closings to our practice. It's a little silly.
***
Last week I was walking out of the restaurant where I'd been eating dinner when an adorable, familiar-looking boy shouts, "Oh Diana! 안녕하세요? Hello."
Used to kids I don't teach from Oedae shouting their greetings to me all the time, I responded in English, "Hello. How are you?"
He looks really confused. And a little hurt. "저를 기억해요? Do you remember me?" It's then I notice the An Il t-shirt (same one I wore to the Lantern Festival) and realize he's one of the boys who tested with me, and that I spoke Korean with him, which is why he's now nattering on in Korean with me.
"물론--안일 태권도! 어떻게 지내세요? Of course--An Il Taekwondo! How have you been?"
"잘! Well!"
"나도. Me, too."
"검은띠 땄어요? Did you get your black belt?"
"네! Yes!"
"축하축하! Congrats!" He offers up his fist for a punching high five, which I happily give.
"3품 땄어요? Did you get your third poom [poom is a red/black belt they give to students under age 14, as opposed to dan which is for adults--I'm now first dan.]?"
Again he looks insulted. "저는 지금 단이에요! I'm a dan now!"
"그래? 미안해. 축하축하! Really? Sorry. Congrats!" He beams.
"잘 가요! Goodbye!"
"네, 잘가! 화이팅! Goodbye! Fighting [a usual greeting/cheer/etc. in taekwondo here]!"
A short conversation, but I felt so happy to be able to have it with him. I'll keep working on this language. One day I'll be able to communicate well in it. One day...
However, physically it seems to have gotten a bit more demanding. We're doing a lot more kick combinations that involve this fast spinning motion which hurts a bit when you don't land it just right. We've been doing more kicks with running starts and more repetitions before landing. We did some practice with using a kick to turn midair and push off the person/body-bag you just kicked. It's fun and looks all spiffy cool when you do it right, but it's tough.
Samantha's had a minor injury since just before belt testing, but it seems to get worse and better depending on the day. And with my encounters with allergies and sunburn, we've been trading off sick moments occasionally. Sa Beom Nim has taken to adding the admonition "아프지마! Don't get sick!" along with his regular (and ritualized) closings to our practice. It's a little silly.
***
Last week I was walking out of the restaurant where I'd been eating dinner when an adorable, familiar-looking boy shouts, "Oh Diana! 안녕하세요? Hello."
Used to kids I don't teach from Oedae shouting their greetings to me all the time, I responded in English, "Hello. How are you?"
He looks really confused. And a little hurt. "저를 기억해요? Do you remember me?" It's then I notice the An Il t-shirt (same one I wore to the Lantern Festival) and realize he's one of the boys who tested with me, and that I spoke Korean with him, which is why he's now nattering on in Korean with me.
"물론--안일 태권도! 어떻게 지내세요? Of course--An Il Taekwondo! How have you been?"
"잘! Well!"
"나도. Me, too."
"검은띠 땄어요? Did you get your black belt?"
"네! Yes!"
"축하축하! Congrats!" He offers up his fist for a punching high five, which I happily give.
"3품 땄어요? Did you get your third poom [poom is a red/black belt they give to students under age 14, as opposed to dan which is for adults--I'm now first dan.]?"
Again he looks insulted. "저는 지금 단이에요! I'm a dan now!"
"그래? 미안해. 축하축하! Really? Sorry. Congrats!" He beams.
"잘 가요! Goodbye!"
"네, 잘가! 화이팅! Goodbye! Fighting [a usual greeting/cheer/etc. in taekwondo here]!"
A short conversation, but I felt so happy to be able to have it with him. I'll keep working on this language. One day I'll be able to communicate well in it. One day...
Sunday, June 1, 2008
I don't think that word means what you think it means...
Min Ki introduced me to a friend a little while ago. The first time I met this guy--a musician and a student who used to bar tend on occasion--he shook my hand and said, "Wow, your hands are so soft." Then he had to go home because he, like most other adult Korean males who are not married, lives with his mom, and Mom wanted him home by 2:30 a.m.
The next time I saw him, he was playing guitar and singing. He's good. After he finished he came over to say hello.
"Wow! Beautiful Diana! How are you?"
"I'm great. You play very well."
He puts his hand to his chest and gets a look on his face like I just told him he won an Oscar. After prematurely congratulating me on my relationship with Min Ki (we've been dating a bit, but nothing definite) and then wishing us many future babies, he proceeds to spend about 20 minutes elaborating on Min Ki's good qualities: "He's so strong! When we arm-wrestle I can do nothing!" "He has... how do I say this?... a moustache on his chest." (chest hair--rare in Koreans) He also mentioned that Min Ki is a "virgin" with a "pure heart."
"Really?" I ask.
"Yes, me too."
"You're a virgin with a pure heart?" Eyebrow raised.
"Of course." A few minutes later. "How did Min Ki get so lucky to win the heart of such a beautiful woman? Did he tell you that you must be tired?"
"Why am I tired?"
"Because you have been in my dreams. Running all night."
"Oh my god. Seriously? You studied English pick up lines?"
"Not at all. This is how I really feel. Do you have a phone? I need to call my mom and tell her I just met the woman I love."
I'm laughing too hard to respond, at which point Min Ki comes over. I try to explain to him what a "pick-up line" is and how his friend has studied them. I am not exactly successful, so when he walks away the musician says, "See? He is a virgin. He has a pure heart."
"And you, too, right?"
"But of course! Wow! Your hair is so beautiful. Golden hair! I would give you $1,000,000 for two centimeters of your hair. But I think Min Ki would kill me if I did."
"You are the most 바람둥이 man I've ever met." (Korean word literally means "wind person" but it means a kind of player, so maybe as easy as the wind)
"No, no. Not at all. I am a virgin. I have a pure heart!"
"I think someone might have given you a bad translation of that word..."
The next time I saw him, he was playing guitar and singing. He's good. After he finished he came over to say hello.
"Wow! Beautiful Diana! How are you?"
"I'm great. You play very well."
He puts his hand to his chest and gets a look on his face like I just told him he won an Oscar. After prematurely congratulating me on my relationship with Min Ki (we've been dating a bit, but nothing definite) and then wishing us many future babies, he proceeds to spend about 20 minutes elaborating on Min Ki's good qualities: "He's so strong! When we arm-wrestle I can do nothing!" "He has... how do I say this?... a moustache on his chest." (chest hair--rare in Koreans) He also mentioned that Min Ki is a "virgin" with a "pure heart."
"Really?" I ask.
"Yes, me too."
"You're a virgin with a pure heart?" Eyebrow raised.
"Of course." A few minutes later. "How did Min Ki get so lucky to win the heart of such a beautiful woman? Did he tell you that you must be tired?"
"Why am I tired?"
"Because you have been in my dreams. Running all night."
"Oh my god. Seriously? You studied English pick up lines?"
"Not at all. This is how I really feel. Do you have a phone? I need to call my mom and tell her I just met the woman I love."
I'm laughing too hard to respond, at which point Min Ki comes over. I try to explain to him what a "pick-up line" is and how his friend has studied them. I am not exactly successful, so when he walks away the musician says, "See? He is a virgin. He has a pure heart."
"And you, too, right?"
"But of course! Wow! Your hair is so beautiful. Golden hair! I would give you $1,000,000 for two centimeters of your hair. But I think Min Ki would kill me if I did."
"You are the most 바람둥이 man I've ever met." (Korean word literally means "wind person" but it means a kind of player, so maybe as easy as the wind)
"No, no. Not at all. I am a virgin. I have a pure heart!"
"I think someone might have given you a bad translation of that word..."
Sunday, May 25, 2008
Buddha's Birthday (May 12)
May is a great month for holidays in Korea. May 5 is Children's Day and Buddha's Birthday (a huge celebration here like Christmas in America in that we saw decorations prior to it starting like mid-March) is celebrated according to the lunar calendar and so it varies, but this year was on May 12. Both the 5th and the 12th were Mondays, so I had two three day weekends this month, which has kept my social life busy (and apparently made me broke as I discovered in my bank account yesterday). Hence, the lack of blogging. But I'm in need of some rest now (and financially, it's pretty much required) so I should be more regular.
The first three day weekend, Kelly, Sarah, and I headed up to Seoul for the Lantern Festival in honor of Buddha's Birthday (yes, the celebration was held on the Children's Day weekend, which confused me for a bit, but thankfully this was cleared up). The festival itself featured performers and information stands about aspects of Buddhist culture--everything from a company that makes meat substitutes for vegetarians specific to Korean cuisine to a meditation practice tent led by an American female Buddhist monk who has lived, studied, and taught in her Korean monastery for 10 years.
We saw the Asian Snuffleupagus!
The street festival stretched all the way down to Jogyesa, a small temple in downtown Seoul that was completely covered with lanterns. Most of them were the traditional circular, brightly colored lanterns I've seen in temples all over Korea. Over the main courtyard, they were arranged to look like a lotus flower, which was particularly beautiful at night after the parade.
Favorite picture I took all day at Jogyesa.
Main courtyard lanterns at night.
We had dinner at a traditional Korean restaurant in Insadong (the traditional market area I went to with Se Jin in February), and then met up with Amanda and Good Man for ice cream at McDonald's and viewing the evening parade.
Lounging Bodhisattva lit float.
나비 게등들. Butterfly Lanterns.
The parade was beautiful. Mostly it was different groups carrying different styles and shapes of lanterns. There were also some performers and a few larger floats on cars or other platforms. Since it was raining (a little), nighttime in a city (with the associated light pollution from nearby shops), and crowded, getting good pictures was difficult. I sorted through over 600 I took all day and put the best 50 of them in the album below.
Yes, I live in Asia. Just in case I needed the reminder.
A fantastic day.
The first three day weekend, Kelly, Sarah, and I headed up to Seoul for the Lantern Festival in honor of Buddha's Birthday (yes, the celebration was held on the Children's Day weekend, which confused me for a bit, but thankfully this was cleared up). The festival itself featured performers and information stands about aspects of Buddhist culture--everything from a company that makes meat substitutes for vegetarians specific to Korean cuisine to a meditation practice tent led by an American female Buddhist monk who has lived, studied, and taught in her Korean monastery for 10 years.
The street festival stretched all the way down to Jogyesa, a small temple in downtown Seoul that was completely covered with lanterns. Most of them were the traditional circular, brightly colored lanterns I've seen in temples all over Korea. Over the main courtyard, they were arranged to look like a lotus flower, which was particularly beautiful at night after the parade.
We had dinner at a traditional Korean restaurant in Insadong (the traditional market area I went to with Se Jin in February), and then met up with Amanda and Good Man for ice cream at McDonald's and viewing the evening parade.
The parade was beautiful. Mostly it was different groups carrying different styles and shapes of lanterns. There were also some performers and a few larger floats on cars or other platforms. Since it was raining (a little), nighttime in a city (with the associated light pollution from nearby shops), and crowded, getting good pictures was difficult. I sorted through over 600 I took all day and put the best 50 of them in the album below.
 |
| Buddha's Birthday/L |
Yes, I live in Asia. Just in case I needed the reminder.
A fantastic day.
Monday, May 19, 2008
Saying Hello
When I lived in America, everyday people I didn't know would smile and say hello to me. I did the same. Sometimes it wasn't a hello, sometimes it was just a quick nod or wave or (when I lived in more rural areas) a tip of the hat. A cursory acknowledgement of our shared humanity--a recognition of personhood and general friendly goodwill. A greeting. Not an invitation to talk, but pleasant, comfortable, and familiar.
In Korea, everyday people also say, "Hello!" to me (yes, notice it's in quotes with an exclamation point this time). But here, it's jarring. It's a foreign language for the locals. It's often shouted at me from a block and a half away or accompanied by a fit of giggles and mutters in Korean about the "foreigner" until one of the middle school children decides she is "brave" enough to say it. Sometimes it's accompanied by other English words... "How are you?" "Beautiful!" and "Hey yo man!" seem to be popular choices. If I respond, they laugh or gape--sometimes they grab my hand and shake it vigorously saying "Nice to meet you!" without any invitation to do such or intention to get to know me. If I don't respond, they also laugh or gape. I generally get the best responses if I reply in Korean. But it grates.
Because here "Hello!" is not comfortable or polite. It's rarely accompanied by a warm smile (although if it is, I always try to respond as warmly as I can, even if I feel like shit). It dehumanizes where such a friendly greeting should radiate humanity. It is a label. It marks me foreign. As much as my wild hair and height and pale skin... It's a shout. Sometimes it sounds like a curse word.
Waking up this morning, I realized how much I miss the friendliness of Americans. There are lots of bad things to be said about my home country and its citizens (and certainly I've said and believe most of them), but there is a certain genuine openness and amiable atmosphere in most places that aren't downtown Manhattan I find comforting.
On Friday, a friend of a friend I met for the first time hugged me in greeting. On Saturday a white guy walking his dog smiled at me when I passed him.
***
Realization (from a few days ago): I point out the obvious and over explain things. I think this is part of my American-ness. Americans believe in being genuine above all else--to be called a hypocrite is one of the worst insults you can bestow. It seems to get worse when I am most homesick.
And I wonder (remembering now the curious, unfriendly glares I got when I was with my sister) that if I wasn't white, would I still feel like this...?
In Korea, everyday people also say, "Hello!" to me (yes, notice it's in quotes with an exclamation point this time). But here, it's jarring. It's a foreign language for the locals. It's often shouted at me from a block and a half away or accompanied by a fit of giggles and mutters in Korean about the "foreigner" until one of the middle school children decides she is "brave" enough to say it. Sometimes it's accompanied by other English words... "How are you?" "Beautiful!" and "Hey yo man!" seem to be popular choices. If I respond, they laugh or gape--sometimes they grab my hand and shake it vigorously saying "Nice to meet you!" without any invitation to do such or intention to get to know me. If I don't respond, they also laugh or gape. I generally get the best responses if I reply in Korean. But it grates.
Because here "Hello!" is not comfortable or polite. It's rarely accompanied by a warm smile (although if it is, I always try to respond as warmly as I can, even if I feel like shit). It dehumanizes where such a friendly greeting should radiate humanity. It is a label. It marks me foreign. As much as my wild hair and height and pale skin... It's a shout. Sometimes it sounds like a curse word.
Waking up this morning, I realized how much I miss the friendliness of Americans. There are lots of bad things to be said about my home country and its citizens (and certainly I've said and believe most of them), but there is a certain genuine openness and amiable atmosphere in most places that aren't downtown Manhattan I find comforting.
On Friday, a friend of a friend I met for the first time hugged me in greeting. On Saturday a white guy walking his dog smiled at me when I passed him.
***
Realization (from a few days ago): I point out the obvious and over explain things. I think this is part of my American-ness. Americans believe in being genuine above all else--to be called a hypocrite is one of the worst insults you can bestow. It seems to get worse when I am most homesick.
And I wonder (remembering now the curious, unfriendly glares I got when I was with my sister) that if I wasn't white, would I still feel like this...?
Sunday, May 18, 2008
Best Week. 신기했어요...
I am terribly sorry for keeping you all in the dark, but I have been crazy busy this last week, but it has been AMAZING!!!
First of all, I got my black belt Friday. It has my name on it. 아싸!
The weekend before last, I went to Busan with William and Tristan. He details the events in his blog, so if you wish to know what happened, I won't repeat it here. I had a fantastic, relaxing time, but I was sunburned very badly on my legs. I had to miss taekwondo Tuesday and Wednesday last week. Not as bad as the sun poisoning I got at Martha's Vineyard a few years ago, but bad.
Me, at the beach, pre-burn (photo courtesy William)
I've been doing a bunch of swing dancing. Our club has decided to meet on Tuesday nights for the summer and do some dancing in a park. The first night got rained out, so we ended up at a club nearby. Fun, but I'm looking forward to this week and some outdoor swinging! Then, Saturday night was a big party at the other Daegu swing club, DNA, so a bunch of the people I'd met from Busan and Seoul and other places came out. It was a lot of fun. I had the best dance of my life with a silly man nicknamed Dungi to Queen's "Crazy Little Thing Called Love."
Friday night, I pulled a typical Diana boneheaded move and lost my wallet on the subway. Now, if I'd been in the US, I would just have figured I'd never see it again and begun taking steps to minimize the damage, but Korea is a much less crime-oriented country. So I ran around Singi station trying to find it. No luck.
The English-speaking station manager was very kind as he took the report and then Gwen (wonderful woman that she is) loaned me some money, but meanwhile a man had found my wallet and found Samson's business card inside and called him. I got his number to make arrangements to meet and get my wallet back (thank god I learned some Korean, right???) and so it all worked out alright in the end.
Saturday morning I played hooky from Korean class and went hiking at Apsan with Min Gi, a new friend I met about a month ago.
The weather was fantastic, but as you can see behind Min Gi, not conducive to picture taking.
Obscured Daegu, from the mountain.
Fading blooms.
Funny thing was, after hiking, Min Gi agreed to come to swing dance with me (haha... I'm recruiting!), so in between we went to meet the guy who found my wallet at Singi station (신기역), and it turned out to be a friend of Min Gi's! That's when I learned the word 신기하다, which literally translated means to be wondrous or magical, but is used to express surprise at strange coincidences like this one. I love this language...
First of all, I got my black belt Friday. It has my name on it. 아싸!
The weekend before last, I went to Busan with William and Tristan. He details the events in his blog, so if you wish to know what happened, I won't repeat it here. I had a fantastic, relaxing time, but I was sunburned very badly on my legs. I had to miss taekwondo Tuesday and Wednesday last week. Not as bad as the sun poisoning I got at Martha's Vineyard a few years ago, but bad.
I've been doing a bunch of swing dancing. Our club has decided to meet on Tuesday nights for the summer and do some dancing in a park. The first night got rained out, so we ended up at a club nearby. Fun, but I'm looking forward to this week and some outdoor swinging! Then, Saturday night was a big party at the other Daegu swing club, DNA, so a bunch of the people I'd met from Busan and Seoul and other places came out. It was a lot of fun. I had the best dance of my life with a silly man nicknamed Dungi to Queen's "Crazy Little Thing Called Love."
Friday night, I pulled a typical Diana boneheaded move and lost my wallet on the subway. Now, if I'd been in the US, I would just have figured I'd never see it again and begun taking steps to minimize the damage, but Korea is a much less crime-oriented country. So I ran around Singi station trying to find it. No luck.
The English-speaking station manager was very kind as he took the report and then Gwen (wonderful woman that she is) loaned me some money, but meanwhile a man had found my wallet and found Samson's business card inside and called him. I got his number to make arrangements to meet and get my wallet back (thank god I learned some Korean, right???) and so it all worked out alright in the end.
Saturday morning I played hooky from Korean class and went hiking at Apsan with Min Gi, a new friend I met about a month ago.
Funny thing was, after hiking, Min Gi agreed to come to swing dance with me (haha... I'm recruiting!), so in between we went to meet the guy who found my wallet at Singi station (신기역), and it turned out to be a friend of Min Gi's! That's when I learned the word 신기하다, which literally translated means to be wondrous or magical, but is used to express surprise at strange coincidences like this one. I love this language...
Thursday, May 8, 2008
Uncertainty
Today I have more questions than answers, but I'm happy and hopeful about it.
Lots of stuff has been happening I want to blog about--training in taekwondo, a trip to Seoul with pretty pictures, visiting my Korean family the Kwons, a renewed interest and excitement for studying Korean, figuring out (finally) how to do a basic Lindy circle halfway decently--but I'm not going to yet.
I have been holding myself back from blogging because many things about my life are uncertain and open to change in relatively dramatic ways (what I will do after my contract ends? does my dating life have a chance of success in this country? when will I know the results of my black belt test?). This uncertainty makes me uncomfortable with putting anything permanent down, such as publishing it in a blog.
This has happened before and I always react in the same way. I worry constantly. I make new life plans every ten minutes (I'm not kidding--detailed, well planned out life goals that I completely revise to a brand new one moments later) because I feel better with a plan, even if I know it's going to change. I spend lots of time doing things that don't matter and avoiding the things that need to get done--I end up with perfectly organized earring drawers and no clean dishes.
In honor of the worrying about things that matter the least first, let's talk taekwondo. I'm freaking out about the results from my black belt test. Everybody is very reassuring and kind (and let me be clear that I do appreciate your kind words of support), but it will be the most humiliating thing I have experienced in a long time if I don't pass. That scares the crap out of me. The weird thing is, I think I'm due for karmic failure. Things have been going well lately. Perhaps too well. Usually around this time something bad has happened relationship wise (the last bad thing was more than a year and a half ago), but since I'm not in a relationship, the world has to find some other way to smack down my growing self esteem and this seems like an all too tempting opportunity for fate. (Yes, in my own head, I do live in a post-modern black comedy).
More than that, though, I don't want to let people down. My friends and family back home who have cheered me on for the last eight months; my friends here who cheered me on as I went home early the night before, who showed up to watch and take pictures, who texted me that morning to wish me luck, or who took me out to my favorite wine bar and a romantic comedy after the whole mess was over; my studio--Sa Beom Nim, his family and students; and myself. I'd pull out some line right now about how the journey itself has been enough of an achievement and blah blah blah and that's true... I don't think Sa Beom Nim is going to stop teaching me the Koryeo form (the one for second degree belt testing) just because I "failed" this round and I don't think I'll quit or anything that dramatic because it's too much fun... but it would really be a huge blow to my self confidence that's been growing by participating in such a challenging sport.
Today Sa Beom Nim said he'd text me when he got the results. That made me feel a little better. (As for the romantic and job fronts... well maybe I'm not going to be as brave in this post as I wanted to be... better just to publish this one and save more for later since it's been more than a week.)
Life, to be continued...
Lots of stuff has been happening I want to blog about--training in taekwondo, a trip to Seoul with pretty pictures, visiting my Korean family the Kwons, a renewed interest and excitement for studying Korean, figuring out (finally) how to do a basic Lindy circle halfway decently--but I'm not going to yet.
I have been holding myself back from blogging because many things about my life are uncertain and open to change in relatively dramatic ways (what I will do after my contract ends? does my dating life have a chance of success in this country? when will I know the results of my black belt test?). This uncertainty makes me uncomfortable with putting anything permanent down, such as publishing it in a blog.
This has happened before and I always react in the same way. I worry constantly. I make new life plans every ten minutes (I'm not kidding--detailed, well planned out life goals that I completely revise to a brand new one moments later) because I feel better with a plan, even if I know it's going to change. I spend lots of time doing things that don't matter and avoiding the things that need to get done--I end up with perfectly organized earring drawers and no clean dishes.
In honor of the worrying about things that matter the least first, let's talk taekwondo. I'm freaking out about the results from my black belt test. Everybody is very reassuring and kind (and let me be clear that I do appreciate your kind words of support), but it will be the most humiliating thing I have experienced in a long time if I don't pass. That scares the crap out of me. The weird thing is, I think I'm due for karmic failure. Things have been going well lately. Perhaps too well. Usually around this time something bad has happened relationship wise (the last bad thing was more than a year and a half ago), but since I'm not in a relationship, the world has to find some other way to smack down my growing self esteem and this seems like an all too tempting opportunity for fate. (Yes, in my own head, I do live in a post-modern black comedy).
More than that, though, I don't want to let people down. My friends and family back home who have cheered me on for the last eight months; my friends here who cheered me on as I went home early the night before, who showed up to watch and take pictures, who texted me that morning to wish me luck, or who took me out to my favorite wine bar and a romantic comedy after the whole mess was over; my studio--Sa Beom Nim, his family and students; and myself. I'd pull out some line right now about how the journey itself has been enough of an achievement and blah blah blah and that's true... I don't think Sa Beom Nim is going to stop teaching me the Koryeo form (the one for second degree belt testing) just because I "failed" this round and I don't think I'll quit or anything that dramatic because it's too much fun... but it would really be a huge blow to my self confidence that's been growing by participating in such a challenging sport.
Today Sa Beom Nim said he'd text me when he got the results. That made me feel a little better. (As for the romantic and job fronts... well maybe I'm not going to be as brave in this post as I wanted to be... better just to publish this one and save more for later since it's been more than a week.)
Life, to be continued...
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
심사 끝났어요 (Test Finished)
8:15 Sunday morning I meet Samantha to walk over to the taekwondo gym for warm ups and running through the poomsae one last time. Noah, a university student, is already there and Kevin, a sixth grader I used to teach who is Samantha's student now, walks in right behind us. They are both testing for the third level--Noah for dan and Kevin for poom (the equivalent of black belt for children under age 14).
Samantha and I change. About a million worries are running through my head. I don't want to let Sa Beom Nim down. I didn't get enough sleep. I wish my family could see me. I don't want anyone to see me fail. I wonder what I'm going to do when my contract finishes in August...
I try to focus as the other boys arrive. Another uni student at Daegu Catholic who says he's majoring in English Education, but can't speak in English (Noah and I keep translating for him when he and Samantha try to speak--god I hope it was nerves) is testing for third dan also. Ian is there, Samantha's first grade student now nicknamed Moli Apa (머리 아파, meaning "Headache"), who is testing for first poom. Three little ones who I worked out with in January during intensives are testing for second poom.
Three studiomates, about to become second poom, with all their abundant energy.
Sa Beom Nim is all spiffed up for the occasion
During warm ups, I keep messing up my forms. My head is not in this. I need to focus, but I have a hard time doing so. I catch my focus by the end and land the eighth poomsae two or three times. I feel better. And the boys are making me laugh. In the van they ask Samantha and I hundreds of questions, some of which I understand and some I don't. I give them my American dollar to play with.
At the Elementary School, I'm overwhelmed. There are so many people testing. Most are young children testing for pooms. Samantha and I go into the auditorium for announcements. Noah and English run off to chat with friends they know from other studios. The boys take Samantha and I under their protection. We're the only foreigners there, so we need it--with all the shouting "Hi" "How are you?" "What's your name?" sometimes encouraged by their sabeomnims and kwangjangnims who, as adults, should really know better.
The adults testing for dan have to wait until all the children are finished. It's a long wait. Gwen and Samson arrive. I give them my camera. We see some students from Oedae with other studios. Samson talks to their parents and some of his taekwondo friends.
Finally, Noah and English get a text message from Sa Beom Nim telling us to go get in line, so they walk us over to the others waiting for first dan. Samantha and I are number 25 and 26, so we know we'll end up sparring each other, which is good because we've practiced together and know what we're doing. Samantha is especially relieved. Number 27 turns out to be an extremely nervous 20 year old college student majoring in Physical Education, but whose English was remarkably good. He carried on a long conversation, mostly with Samantha, and entirely in English. Apparently his focus is soccer, but he needs to do taekwondo too as part of his studies, so he really needs to pass.
There are also three women who help Samantha fix her dobok from 어머니 태권도, which means "Mother Taekwondo." Apparently it is a studio out near Palgongsan that caters primarily to housewives. These women were really kind and very sweet and tried to hook me up with their (rather hot) sabeomnim (thanks, ladies).
Anyhow... even after getting in line, the wait is really long.
Waiting
In fact, when we get up to actually do the test, it doesn't even register in my brain until we have finished the second poomsae (there are two--8장 and a random form which for us turned out to be 2장) and are prepping for the spar. In some ways this is good, because I didn't overthink it, so I didn't make any major mistakes. But my head wasn't in it, I wasn't focus. I can look at the pictures Gwen took and see how my leg isn't straight enough or I'm looking a little off to the side. I just hope it's good enough, since I know I can do a lot better than I did.
Sparring
It's all over so fast. It felt like less than two minutes, though it was more like five or ten.
Sa Beom Nim's friend from the ski trip, the one who called me an ajumma, came over right after to tell me how awful I did. Ha ha. I love that third grade boy humor where they tease you in a way that borders on cruel considering I was feeling really uncertain of how I did. But then he said we did well. And Gwen and Samson come down to congratulate us. And Sa Beom Nim said we did fine.
But officially we won't know for 15 days after the test. Waiting is hard and nerve-wracking. But I do feel like a pressure that was with me for the last few weeks has lifted. To see some more of the photos Gwen took from our test (and a few I snapped of my studio brothers), check out the album:
Samantha and I change. About a million worries are running through my head. I don't want to let Sa Beom Nim down. I didn't get enough sleep. I wish my family could see me. I don't want anyone to see me fail. I wonder what I'm going to do when my contract finishes in August...
I try to focus as the other boys arrive. Another uni student at Daegu Catholic who says he's majoring in English Education, but can't speak in English (Noah and I keep translating for him when he and Samantha try to speak--god I hope it was nerves) is testing for third dan also. Ian is there, Samantha's first grade student now nicknamed Moli Apa (머리 아파, meaning "Headache"), who is testing for first poom. Three little ones who I worked out with in January during intensives are testing for second poom.
During warm ups, I keep messing up my forms. My head is not in this. I need to focus, but I have a hard time doing so. I catch my focus by the end and land the eighth poomsae two or three times. I feel better. And the boys are making me laugh. In the van they ask Samantha and I hundreds of questions, some of which I understand and some I don't. I give them my American dollar to play with.
At the Elementary School, I'm overwhelmed. There are so many people testing. Most are young children testing for pooms. Samantha and I go into the auditorium for announcements. Noah and English run off to chat with friends they know from other studios. The boys take Samantha and I under their protection. We're the only foreigners there, so we need it--with all the shouting "Hi" "How are you?" "What's your name?" sometimes encouraged by their sabeomnims and kwangjangnims who, as adults, should really know better.
The adults testing for dan have to wait until all the children are finished. It's a long wait. Gwen and Samson arrive. I give them my camera. We see some students from Oedae with other studios. Samson talks to their parents and some of his taekwondo friends.
Finally, Noah and English get a text message from Sa Beom Nim telling us to go get in line, so they walk us over to the others waiting for first dan. Samantha and I are number 25 and 26, so we know we'll end up sparring each other, which is good because we've practiced together and know what we're doing. Samantha is especially relieved. Number 27 turns out to be an extremely nervous 20 year old college student majoring in Physical Education, but whose English was remarkably good. He carried on a long conversation, mostly with Samantha, and entirely in English. Apparently his focus is soccer, but he needs to do taekwondo too as part of his studies, so he really needs to pass.
There are also three women who help Samantha fix her dobok from 어머니 태권도, which means "Mother Taekwondo." Apparently it is a studio out near Palgongsan that caters primarily to housewives. These women were really kind and very sweet and tried to hook me up with their (rather hot) sabeomnim (thanks, ladies).
Anyhow... even after getting in line, the wait is really long.
In fact, when we get up to actually do the test, it doesn't even register in my brain until we have finished the second poomsae (there are two--8장 and a random form which for us turned out to be 2장) and are prepping for the spar. In some ways this is good, because I didn't overthink it, so I didn't make any major mistakes. But my head wasn't in it, I wasn't focus. I can look at the pictures Gwen took and see how my leg isn't straight enough or I'm looking a little off to the side. I just hope it's good enough, since I know I can do a lot better than I did.
It's all over so fast. It felt like less than two minutes, though it was more like five or ten.
Sa Beom Nim's friend from the ski trip, the one who called me an ajumma, came over right after to tell me how awful I did. Ha ha. I love that third grade boy humor where they tease you in a way that borders on cruel considering I was feeling really uncertain of how I did. But then he said we did well. And Gwen and Samson come down to congratulate us. And Sa Beom Nim said we did fine.
But officially we won't know for 15 days after the test. Waiting is hard and nerve-wracking. But I do feel like a pressure that was with me for the last few weeks has lifted. To see some more of the photos Gwen took from our test (and a few I snapped of my studio brothers), check out the album:
 |
| Taekwondo Black Belt Test (태권도 1단 심사) |
Saturday, April 26, 2008
Tomorrow.
Just finished the last practice before my black belt test tomorrow. Forms look good. I think I'll be ok on sparring. I'll be fine. I can do this.
I have been stressed and worried and sore this week.
And I'm pushing all that aside. Tonight I'm going out with my friends at swing for a bit and then turning in early because I have to be at my gym tomorrow morning at 8:30. I just want to relax tonight and have a good time. Not to think about poomsae or kicking or anything like that.
I'm trying to think of the test like opening night of a play--the first "real" performance after months of rehearsal--to get the same kind of adrenaline rushed high that comes with it. Yeah, sure there is anxiety, but the good kind that spurs you toward victory, not the kind that makes you want to crawl in a hole and die.
I have been stressed and worried and sore this week.
And I'm pushing all that aside. Tonight I'm going out with my friends at swing for a bit and then turning in early because I have to be at my gym tomorrow morning at 8:30. I just want to relax tonight and have a good time. Not to think about poomsae or kicking or anything like that.
I'm trying to think of the test like opening night of a play--the first "real" performance after months of rehearsal--to get the same kind of adrenaline rushed high that comes with it. Yeah, sure there is anxiety, but the good kind that spurs you toward victory, not the kind that makes you want to crawl in a hole and die.
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