Tuesday, April 14, 2015

Mom, Round Two

I have not blogged in a long time.  I let my domain lapse, so a lot of former readers probably won't even be able to find this piece anymore.  With the loss of my father, it has been a particularly difficult year for my family.  I am pregnant, due in less than 3 weeks (May 3), though I think she will probably come sooner given all the pre-labor I'm experiencing.  I'm writing because transitional times like these make me reflective.  I have this lovely little space to reflect in, though sadly neglected, so here we are.  Hello.

This has been a much more challenging pregnancy than J's from a health perspective.  I've had gestational diabetes since the first trimester (I do miss carbohydrates...).  I had a bleeding scare in second trimester.  And now I've been having early, intense contractions.  Thankfully, through it all, the baby has been healthy and though challenged to the point that this is definitely the last member of our family to join us this way, I am doing alright.  I had to give up the second job (which was a challenge financially and mentally, since I enjoy the work I do on crisis hotlines), but all is going well and we are ready to become four.  Meeting my daughter is mostly what I think about these days.  Especially when having contractions.

J is now almost three and half and such a delight, although we are seeing evidence that he might be just as frustratingly stubborn and independent as his parents.  Min Gi and J traveled to Korea for the month of March and his growth in Korean from that trip was pretty remarkable.  He now speaks very comfortably in both languages and switches more naturally when speaking to Min Gi or to me.  We are now beginning the rounds of soccer and swimming lessons and some preschool for next year (although Min Gi continues his excellence as a full time dad and expert household operator).  He loves books (especially about trains and construction sites) and slides and other children.  He rides his bike with the training wheels and chases birds in the park.  He tells me about all the things he will do for his sister (feed her milk, help her build train tracks, teach her to drive--I don't know about that last one).

I am trying to plan for a peaceful, but enjoyably occupied with much family time, summer.  Next school year I will face two major challenges--a new teaching prep that I am very unprepared to tackle and the final course of my administrative certification: an intensive internship.  All while being a working mom of two, not just one.

This year, immersed in grief and occupied by health concerns associated with pregnancy, I have allowed some habits to set in that run counter to my true goals and values.  I have been trying to get back in touch with my true loves--with my family, with literature, with my health.  It is going well.  I will continue to focus on aligning my habits with my goals--realistically, that is the only way to accomplish the goals I want.  Continuing on after the newborn crazy haze of the first 6-8 weeks, I hope I can get back into using the blog as a way to focus and shape my efforts in these areas.

I suppose you'll see if this happens!

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