Friday, April 18, 2014

Motherhood and Time

J is at a wonderful age where I have started being able to read again.  Not that motherhood is really any less demanding or time consuming.  Nor have I stopped working two jobs (actually, I also started taking graduate courses toward a new certification).  I just feel like I'm getting a grip on what it actually feels like to be myself and a mom at the same time.  I know that's weird, since I've been a mom for almost a two and half years.  I don't know how else to explain it, though.  I just suddenly feel like my identity has merged with motherhood in the last few months.

Maybe it has more to do with not being so sick all the time.  I've been dealing with cyclical bouts of UC since J was about 5 months old.  They seem to have (knock on wood) slowed down for the time being.  Just the last few months, I've emerged from a bit of a fog.  I'm feeling less depressed and more settled.

Maybe it is because my son is talking more and is really an independent little person.  I deal better with people with a certain level of self-sufficiency and babies really, really lack that quality (no knock on them, now.  It's part of the process).  I'm certainly enjoying motherhood in this stage a lot more.

Well... whatever it is... I feel like I want to write here again.  At least for today.

I read a really good book the other day.  The Fault In Our Stars by John Green is a beautiful, sad, moving young adult romance.  I think I loved it so because, as the Shakespearean allusion in the title promises, it is chock-full of literary joy.  Everything from William Carlos Williams to video games-turned-novels is referenced and woven into the love story.  I really cannot imagine this part of the novel carrying over well to the screen, although the movie is set to come out soon.  We'll see.

Anyhow, it only took about two days for me to read it.  I recommend you pick it up.  Have tissue box handy and enjoy.

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