Sunday, November 7, 2010

Settled?

We unpacked the final box we'd shipped from Korea last week and attended an American Halloween party.  Min Gi got his social security card and his driver's license.  Tuesday, I have a doctor's appointment.

It feels like something's shifting.  Like maybe I can start to relax just a little and move on with life goals--the ones I put on hold to accomplish this nightmare relocation.  This move has been so all-consuming that I'd almost forgot I even had them.  NaNoWriMo is helping a bit.  As is the Couch-to-5K running program I restarted this week.

I marvel at how different life was six months ago--when we didn't yet have our visa or even tickets for the U.S. and I had no idea how I was going to find a job and get everything done I needed to do to wind us up on the other side of the world with our cats and without being completely broke.

Well... we did it.

I'm still not completely happy here in America.  I don't know if that's the adjustment, reverse culture shock, or the shortening days (winter is never easy for me), but I do know that I'm starting to feel settled.  That this house and this job are starting to feel like "mine" instead of just the place I live and the place I teach.  It helps to have found places for everything; it helps that I've been able to plan out the quarter, rather than going day by day/week by week with my lessons.

As I enter the first American "holiday season" I've had in almost four years, I feel unwound.  Like I've been a tight coil for a year and half of short-term, high-pressure goals--all achieved, all stressful, many fun (to name a few:  completing grad school, planning a wedding and honeymoon, getting Min Gi's visa, moving to America and repatriating, dealing with a new chronic illness)--and now I have no bounce.  But maybe I can use this flexibility and rest to my advantage.  Use it to sift through my new identity as wife.  As American-in-America.  As high school English teacher (maybe, in the near future, drama teacher).  Use it to work on my health, my career, and my writing.

Let's hope.  I need some inspiration!

4 comments:

  1. Bananas supposedly help with seasonal affective disorder.

    It wasn't until my fourth year going down to Brazil that I started to think of the town where I worked as "home". And I still sometimes feel out of place in the US (as you can see from my punctuation in the previous sentence).

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  2. drama teacher! Keep me posted on that one! :D

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  3. I appreciate your openness and honesty when you post. Good luck with everything (and I hear you on trying to re-establish your identity).

    p.s. I'm not actually trying to be anonymous, but I'm unable to log in.

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  4. Congratulations on getting everything together! Don't worry...sometimes when we have to put our noses to the grindstone for a while, reaching our goals means dealing with an unease for a while of not being sure what to do. This too shall pass!

    If you have spare time, why not throw yourself into a new hobby? Maybe joining a class (martial arts, pottery, whatever) or starting a new skill (playing an instrument, for example) would give you something else to push yourself on when the antsiness comes out. Although I'm sure NaNoWriMo is helpful for that. ^^

    Good luck!!

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