Saturday, June 12, 2010

Lying

Well, blog. I have to apologize. I've been seriously neglecting you. And worse, my lovely, captive readers (perhaps not so captive these days) have been left in the dark. And you deserve an explanation. A good one.

But here's the thing blog, I can't give it to you. I'm still in Korea, loving Min Gi (marriage is pretty damn awesome), having wonderful mini-adventures (most recently a picnic outing with the in-laws to a little town called Gachang, full of Dae Gaya historical stuff), but I just can't blog about it. I have something huge weighing on my mind that for privacy reasons, I cannot blog about. Well, at least not fully. I have hinted about it before, but coming full out and discussing the inner workings of my neuroses would cause a lot of unnecessary pain to people I love. And so half-blogging about this, and blogging about other things that are rather trivial to me at this point in my life feels like lying.

Unfortunately, not blogging about it (or at least not writing about it) seems to be increasing my depression and causing regular meltdowns (most recently an hour spent on the phone with my mother crying about stupid stuff). This has become unacceptable. So I've decided that I need to write. I will not be writing here about this stuff, but I believe that by writing about it privately, I will release the crap that's been keeping me from writing about anything else and be able to return to updating you about the details of saying goodbye to my home for the last three years and moving a new family to America in the middle of a recession.

Sorry I cannot be more honest with you, blog and blog readers. But at least now I'm being honest with myself. I hope it helps me get my voice back.

2 comments:

  1. Do what you need to do to take care of yourself. Don't ever feel you need to explain anything to us (your readers). Although I'm sure everyone is curious, the people that need to know probably already know. So take care of yourself and then come back with exciting stories to share about your last few months in Korea. Happy writing!! (from someone who always enjoys what you have to say). Btw, how is your health kick going?

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  2. Hi there. You don't know me, but I regularly read your blog and am always entertained by your engaging writing style - and your interesting life! Anyway, your post above struck a chord with me. I have battled neuroses, and I know exactly what it feels like to have one's mind riddled with illogical and destructive thoughts. I'm now controlled by medication, but that's another (possibly irrelevant) story. Don't feel the need to reveal everything on your blog. Everyone needs some privacy in order to help their sanity. Try to make your life as balanced as possible. Keep telling yourself about the fortunate life you have and what you have going for you now and in the future. Because it's true!

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