Sunday, August 3, 2008

On my mind.

I just got back from a weekend trip to Busan with Min Gi that was relaxing and enjoyable. But I feel... unsettled. And for once it has absolutely nothing to do with my budding relationship. (Despite the slow pace of this relationship, or perhaps because of it, I feel more secure with him than I ever felt with others after about two and a half months.)

I've got a lot of things on my mind these days. Even as I'm the happiest I've been in Korea, surrounded by friends so good they are close to family (you know the kind of people you can call on randomly for any reason), I am feeling some sharp pangs of homesickness.

Some things are happening back home that I can't talk about here because people read it who will feel guilty if I'm honest about my fears and uncertainties right now. And with the job situation being still in limbo, I feel lost in the middle between two countries right now. A lot of people very close to me are leaving this month (or already left this weekend) and I feel distressed about this situation, too. Like when the last round of people I'd grown close to left the country. I'm beginning to understand why Gwen kind of gave up on making new ones, really.

I've talked to some people about it, but not as much as I need to. And I do need to write about it, but lately the blogging thing hasn't been helping me that much. I've enjoyed it for a bit, but maybe I need to take a break from writing here for a few months.

Then again, one of the defining characteristics of depression is losing pleasure in things you once enjoyed. Heh. Either way, as if you hadn't noticed already, I'm guessing blogging will be sporadic again. Sorry.

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