I noticed something this morning--my body is used to working out hard each morning within a few hours of waking up now. It starts to crave the adrenaline rush and gets excited and energized about it now. This is new. Usually, I have to do some pretty serious convincing to get my body up and moving, even though I love taekwondo. I like it.
It's strange. I've never thought of myself as "sporty;" I've always been pretty uncoordinated and awkward. While I have always enjoyed outdoorsy stuff like hiking and sailing, my conception of myself has been that I am out of shape and artsy. But I find myself now thinking about losing weight, not because I want to look better or be more healthy or anything, but because it will be easier to throw high kicks in taekwondo and because I'll be able to move quicker. This is the first time losing weight has ever been to achieve some kind of physical goal.
I mean, sure, the other ideas are still there--I wanna be a sexy skinny gal just as much as the next woman with a long history of weight troubles. But this whole idea of thinking about myself as a sporty or athletic person is pretty cool. I'm starting, for the first time really, to see it as a possibility for myself. Like if I trained for awhile and am patient with myself, I could be in shape--not just thin, but strong, fast, and healthy. I could get my black belt and really earn it (though that still seems like a pretty remote possibility from where I sit at the moment).
It's just so interesting to me how much practicing a martial art is about reforming your mind as much as your body. My new motto seems to be "할수 있어요! I can do it!"