I'm just not up to the task of blogging about the next relationship today. He may be the only one I've ever really loved. Breaking up with Tom #3 was, hands down, the hardest thing I ever had to do. It was not made easier when his best friend told me, a week later, that he had actually bought the ring; although breaking up with him was the right thing to do, I am still afraid I would not have had the heart to say no.
I'm going to a book seminar for the Oxford Book ESL teaching series that makes ESL versions of classic tales. It's at the same time that I am supposed to go to taekwondo. It will be the first time I've missed TKD since I started, and that's included a time with a pretty serious cold. I'm kinda proud of not missing a day, so it's doubly disappointing. On the plus side, I was able to explain to Sa Beom Nim when and why we wouldn't be there using the future tense and he complimented my Korean--which was kind of him. Maybe if I'm really good, I'll go jogging tomorrow morning. It's been awhile since I've tried, and I think I'm in better shape now, so maybe I'll do it just to see if I am.
Today Sa Beom Nim broke out the mitts again for the first time since I pulled something a week and a half ago while practicing side kicks. I love the mitts. It gives me the chance to make contact with my kicks with minimal possibility of injuring someone else. I'm still more afraid of hurting someone else than being hurt, which I need to get over if I'm gonna spar with people. The satisfying smack of the mitt when I kick it gives me a little rush.
I think we're being prepped for belt testing. Sa Beom Nim had Samantha and I each run through the highest pomsae we've each learned by ourselves and talking to us after. The third pomsae form is a bit more challenging than the first two (I feel) because it adds another stance, back stance. I can feel myself improving with speed and power from two months ago. He criticized my heavy landings again. I still am landing too hard on my feet, directing power into the floor instead of into my kicks and punches. I need to work on that.
I saw an ad for a new yoga studio in my neighborhood. I'm curious. Maybe one of the Korean teachers could help me find it. I love TKD and totally intend to keep it up, but I miss the serenity and meditation of yoga. It's hard to force myself to do it alone in my apartment (although I still do sometimes)--I'm still trying to make sure I do my strength training two or three days a week.
Hopefully today's long breaks will allow me to finish the newsletter at Oedae. It would be silly if the "fall" letter came out in winter... oops! I miss Gwen.