I got home, fully intending to do laundry and clean the apartment, but instead I continued reading my deliciously fun novel, cuddled with my cat, made a curious stir-fry wrap thing for lunch and listened to some new music on iTunes (a co-worker at the hotline recommended Bob Dylan's "Desolation Row" and it was, in fact, excellent).
And now, although I was fully intending to go to Bally's before heading out clubbing with Michelle, I believe I will continue reading while I finish the laundry that so desperately needs finishing and making various plans with various friends who are about. I do wish I had some convenient space for a proper goodbye party for myself, but I am just not up to organizing it. I think I'd feel a bit like the nervous character I always played in "Party Quirks" with Take One--I worry that no one I really wanted to see would show up, only the people I didn't really care all that much about.
I keep saying "I'm bored" lately, but that's not really what I mean. I just feel very uncomfortable with the "limbo" stage I'm in right now. I need to lighten up. Every moment is worth living, not just the ones you plan for in the future. Darn it, my life as it is right NOW is pretty awesome if I would just bother to appreciate it! I wonder if it is a case of "the grass is always greener" or just restlessness. I've actually been having fun the last week and have many plans in the next few days for more fun adventures, but everything seems mundane, muted, distant. It's like all the little things that I used to get all excited about seem less important than they once were. And not in the "I'm depressed" way... More like in the "no excitement compares with leaving the country for a year or two" way.
Or maybe I'm just a closet drama addict with no score in sight for a couple months. That's a sobering thought.
Or do I just want nothing else that exciting to happen? Could I handle caring about something else right now? (I NEED to start caring about this degree again or it ain't gonna get done...) Hmph... nerves won't get the best of me this time!
After going for a walk around the lake, I'm feeling much better.